Unfortunately my 2 hamsters, Fluffy Susanna and Mr Squishy, ended their relationship earlier today
It was very sad to see. What happened was that Mr Squishy loved Fluffy Susanna deeply, as deeply and steadily as the ground he sits on
Fluffy Susanna however, loved the idea of Mr Squishy. She wanted Mr Squishy to be the hero in her fairytale. She would tell him things like âif you truly love me, you will fetch the biggest seed from the highest tree!â
Mr Squishy was a little confused âbut I do love you more than anythingâ he said
She turned her back and said âI wonât believe you until you bring me that seedâ
Mr Squishy was aware he was a hamster and couldnât climb trees well like a squirrel. But seeing that it would make her feel loved, and not shying from a challenge, he set out to try
After 6 hours of struggle, he got about 2/3 of the way up. Totally exhausted, he reached out, trembling, for the biggest seed he could find
Then he scurried back down the trunk to the burrow. She was asleep, so he decided not to wake her until the morning
The next day, he awoke to her shouting. She had found the seed, but rather than being happy she cried âthis isnât the biggest seed. There are much bigger ones near the top, so you must only have climbed half way at most. If you loved me, you would have gone all the way to the topâ she said
He listened, but felt very sad. Something felt very wrong about needing to prove his love when he already felt it so strongly in his heart
He said to her âI couldnât make it to the top of the tree, but I love you very muchâ
âA hamster who loves me would have got the biggest seedâ she said âbut I will give you another chance. If you get 3 eggs from the nest of a magpie, I will know that you love meâ
He felt very sad, and curled up next to her. Even though their fur touched, he started to feel completely alone. He wished that she could feel the immense love he had for her
The next day, he woke and packed everything he needed to reach the Magpieâs nest. It was a much smaller tree, so he knew it was within his limits
After a few hours, he reached the branch with the nest. To his surprise, the Magpie was there. He thought she was out at this time of day
âWhat do you want?â the Magpie said in a high pitched, girly bird voice
âWell I⊠I⊠â he stuttered, then he decided to be fully honest with her âMy hamster girlfriend will not believe that I love her unless I bring her 3 of your eggsâ
âHmmmâŠâ the magpie thought âWhat does love have to do with collecting my eggs?â
âI⊠I donât knowâ said Mr Squishy
âBut, you came anyway, despite knowing that I can peck out both your eyesâŠâ she said
âYes, I did, because I want her to know I love herâ Mr Squishy replied
âYou are stupid, even for a Hamster, because that isnât how love works. However, I respect your bravery, so I will not kill youâ the Magpie mused
âThank you, can I have the 3 eggs?â he inquired
âDonât be ridiculous, these are my babiesâ the Magpie said angrily, then paused âBut⊠you can have one old grey egg, from last year, it never hatchedâŠâ she said, passing it to him with her beak
âThank you, this will have to doâ he said, then scurried back down the trunk of the tree
When he reached his burrow, she was waiting
âWhere are the other 2 eggs?â she said, upset
He started to explain that the Magpie had been home, but she was already banging her head against the wall of the burrow in anger âyou really must not love me!â she cried âAnd even this 1 egg seems old and grey!â
This is impossible, Mr Squishy thought
âBut⊠I will give you another chanceâŠâ she started to say
Something inside Mr Squishyâs soul broke at that moment and he began to dig through the side of the wall. âWhere do you think you are going?!â she yelled
He dug and dug, and continued digging until he could no longer hear her voice, then he collapsed, exhausted, on the floor of the tunnel, and had the deepest sleep of his life
The next day, he did absolutely nothing