I've done thousands of business dinners. A few keys to success:
1) Get there early and settle in. I grab a table and place myself in a seat facing the door so I can see my guest(s) walk in.
2) Have your order picked out so you can 100% focus on your guests. Tell the server to add a 20% tip to the bill at the end so you do not have to think twice. Ask them to bring a bill at the end with the total already calculated.
3) You are hosting the meal- be prepared to order apps for the table. If you have multiple guest fill the table. $75 in apps will make even senior execs go gaw gaw and that reflects on you.
4) Divide the meal into 4ths.
First (before cocktails) is time to catch up on family or vacation travel - check out their social media in advance for tips on where they have been.
Second, after apps arrive ask about their business - good, bad, ugly. Ask penetrating questions and be really interested....this shows.
Third, the entree arrives, now it is your turn. Talk about your industry and trends the exec would care about. Do not make the "ask" but be a smart briefer to the exec. Ideally you deliver some "aha" moments that the exec will take back and talk about. I work really hard to make this section relevant and memorable to the exec.
Fourth, when the desert/check arrive you are at bat. Quickly make the ask for help or a meeting. "I would sure love to present credentials on <project>. What is the best way to make that happen?" Short, sweet and ask them for advice about how to accomplish the ask.
5) Payment - keep the credit card out of your wallet and in your pants pocket. Hand it to the server at the right time BEFORE the check comes out. Sign the bill as quickly as possible. Minimize the financial transaction but know that everyone loves a free meal.
6) Departure- stand and thank your guest with a firm handshake. Thank them for their time and their friendship. Don't delay. They really want to get home to spouse or family at this point.
7) Valet line - Can be small talk, but I've had people tell me about huge deals or big things they are working on in the line. LISTEN and let them talk.
9) Afterward - When I get in my car, I write or dictate into my iPhone everything I learned. Every detail. I will process the raw into my CRM the next day.
Smile as you drive home - you have done something many cannot do - held a master class on how to host an executive at a meal.
Onward!