If she says she’s too good for Chili’s on a first date, she ain’t the one

Sucking a dude's dick so that I can understand his pain better

They be having more fun in the HIV commercials than I do in real life

Me preparing for Day 3 of World Cup - Qatar vs Switzerland - Brazil vs Morocco - Haiti vs Scotland - Australia vs Türkiye

Any native Texan can tell this is Dallas Tex-Mex

New Study Shows Women Prefer When Their Partners Speak Minionese During Sex

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving. Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free. I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these." "They just come with the table, man." They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner. This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat. I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared. "Did we…?" "Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless." Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined. My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude." Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man. I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy. Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived. I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most. Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

El himno que va a sonar cuando juegue Canadá🇨🇦 el mundial

FIFA music on full volume in preparation for tomorrow -Young Folks by Peter Bjorn and John -Kids by MGMT -Dreaming by Small Pools -The City by The 1975 -Ratchet and Helicopter by Bloc Party -Mountian at My Gates and My Number by Foals Just blasting all the classics

The reason margaritas taste so good is because they are a spiritually safe drink They have a salt circle that wards off evil

LOOK how I, as a Scottish guy in America for the World Cup, was welcomed to a Texas BBQ - okay sorry other BBQs but Texas takes the lead 🤩🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿🇺🇸

My penis is now penwas due to lack of usage

Dating a woman who enjoys sucking d!ck is an experience I wish for every man.

RT @thereisnojayjay: The first time my English boyfriend visited America was to come see me in Dallas, Texas, and I spent the entire time t…

Fuck me I’ve been invited to like 600 BBQ’s in Texas today 😂

i think she's using me for my terrible looks and bad penis and no money

Let’s go!!! ⚽️🐐 #WarEagle

call that pussy bruv the way im innit

Gonna wear this to the World Cup matches in Dallas and ask foreign women for their numbers

ignoring the porn in my bookmarks to get to the low cal recipe I saved last week

Recap of Twitter these past few days