Software Engineer. A little different.
Joined July 2009
- Tweets 795
- Following 290
- Followers 397
- Likes 647
77 Photos and videos
21 Jul 2020
Tip for technologists with gray-ish temples: When it is desired to keep one's age a mystery to one's coworkers, one should not display prominently a birthday card with said age in giant block letters in the background of one's Zoom calls.
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25 Apr 2020
Introductions are always a little awkward at parties, as we’ve been together the better part of two decades. ‘Girlfriend’ feels silly at this point. I’ve long been searching for a better choice. But thanks to the @uscensusbureau, my search is over.
“This is Rebecca, she’s my:
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26 Dec 2019
Big brother to stranger, “Guess how old I am!”
Stranger, “I don’t know! How old are you?”
Little sister, “He’s five.”
Big brother, annoyed, then with a smirk, “I’m seven.”
Little sister, aghast, with the fire of 1000 suns, “HE’S FIVE!!!!!!!”
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3 Aug 2019
At the aquarium and my quest to find the perfect insult for my California-based enemies is over.
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4 Jul 2019
There should be a TV channel dedicated to showing people being reunited at airports.
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14 Apr 2019
I meet a new person.
First impression: 🤨
I notice a small tuft of cat hair on their sweater.
Revised impression: 😍😍😍
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Dan Lee retweeted
11 Jan 2019
Here it is, the worst abuse of a toggle I have ever seen
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4 Jan 2019
Life hack: Have the weather forecast displayed in degrees Kelvin and pretend that it is your daily salary forecast.
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16 Jun 2018
I don’t love the term ‘hero’, but I’m on a @SouthwestAir flight, and as the plane took off, an entire sleeve of Ritz crackers rolled out of a purse under the seat in front of me and I cleanly fielded those buttery biscuits and reunited them with their caretaker.
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26 Apr 2018
The WiFi at my parents house is flakey to the point where only one of my or Rebecca’s computers will work at the same time.
Our relationship has known no greater test.
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25 Apr 2018
But, but, but that's impossible... x.com/abstractionscon/status…
24 Apr 2018
What five words best describe programming?
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17 Mar 2018
Reminding my twin brother why he got kicked out of the Mac lab in our high school in the 90s...
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25 Jan 2018
A coworker described me as “Easy going, but with *some* standards” which is a relief because I’ve always wondered what was going to be inscribed on my gravestone.
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5 Jan 2018
A new day dawns.
Rebecca: "How do you feel this morning, Dan?"
The voice of a pubescent Kermit the Frog: "Better! I think I'll go to work."
Rebecca: "You're not going to work, Dan."
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30 Dec 2017
I’m thankful for a lot this holiday season, but I’m EXTRA thankful for this little drawer. The bathroom in my parent’s house has no lock, and this drawer has been protecting my privacy since the 1980s. Happy holidays buddy.
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Dan Lee retweeted
15 Sep 2017
My amazingly awesome coworker Alyssa describes her journey to engineering at Clover Health: theaccidentalengineer.com/da… 🎉❤️☘️
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30 Jul 2017
Lucifer, trying his best to eat healthy, looked at the waiter and reluctantly sighed, "I'll just have the
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26 Jul 2017
Workplace stress reduction pro tip:
make your desktop wallpaper the @CelestialTea Sleepytime Tea bear family.
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23 Jul 2017
Battling RSI for the first time and my mind created two equally appealing solutions:
1) Buy ergonomic keyboard
2) Never use computer again
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1 Jul 2017
Always nice to be in a store that considers the needs of both humans AND vampires.
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