Fuck this app. Adios

referring to yer piss fetish as “yellow tiger fights.”

“What I’m doing is buying a Cadillac what I’m thinking bout is some pussy.”

It’s impressive how El*n completely destroyed the reputability of the blue check. Now whenever I see a good tweet from someone with a blue check, I immediately think it’s stolen.

The Beatles were wrong

I always called him a living PROPHET because thats what he was to us. Me and Roc always said when KA rapped it was like he was delivering his words from the top of a mountain off a stone tablet. The truest man and artist i have ever been lucky enough to cross paths with. There is so much i want to say. It was an honor to call you a friend and comrade . Thanks Roc for connecting us. KA, you made all of us better. My condolences to the family. Rest easy Kaseem Ryan aka BROWNSVILLE KA . Till we meet again 🕊️

Happy 5th of July to Elon Musk’s family’s emerald mine.

KENDRICK LAMAR & DR. DRE NOT LIKE US KENDRICK LAMAR’S POP OUT CONCERT 🚨LIVE AT THE FORUM🚨 x.com/travis_vault/status/18…

Kendrick needs to end this show by bringing out Drake so they can shake hands like men and end this beef once and for all. Maybe hand him a beer. And then once Drake goes to take a sip of that beer… …STONE COLD STUNNER. BAH GAWD. THAT SONUVABITCH.

I wrote about Palestine, Israel, and the human cost of our rhetorical stances. I hope you’ll read it. open.substack.com/pub/sameol…

Hey @elonmusk. What gives?

Well maybe if you didn’t eat so many apples and turtles yer stomach wouldn’t hurt so bad, Yoshi?!

Today, Vought is proud to announce the Homelander High-Tops! Based on our greatest hero’s boots, these shoes will make you feel like you can fly. Available at a Super deal of $777, with all proceeds going to his legal defense fund. Get yours before his sham of a trial on June 13!

Twitter suck now, pass it on. #bitchassMusk

Phil Simm’s son combs his hair like a creep.

Ma’am, may I be so bold as to say your breasts are amazeballs?

Just blew a huge load. Happy new year. #CBSNashvilleNYE

One time my parents caught me making chili in the middle of the night when I was a little kid

Fall blows. Winter blows. All of your holidays are a farce. Bring back the sun you fatsos.

I can’t come into work on Monday. Ive been throwing up blood all weekend. Boss: do you have a doctor’s note? Yes. It’s covered in blood. Boss: I’m still gonna need to see that note.