Father of a six year old and a four year old. Every time I’ve got it figured out, everything changes

Joined January 2016
131 Photos and videos
9, upstairs: HEY DAD. me: What? 9: FFO TISP. me: What. 9: FFO TISP. It's 'pissed off' backwards! me: oh *sigh* 9: It means NO WORRIES 9 & 7: FOR THE REST OF YOUR DAYYYYS wife: It's nice of them to let us live in their house.
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Overheard from my 7yo daughter's room (raspy villain voice): "I WILL DESTROY YOU TO DEATH" (we watched Empire Strikes Back for the first time tonight)
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She was not surprised by the big twist. Turns out Henry told her. He also told her that Snape dies. She will never be allowed to date Henry
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The most effective way to teach your kids to cooperate towards common goals is to declare a national prank day
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Anyone have any recommendations for a good bad-ass mermaid story? The four-year-old is getting super into them, and The Little Mermaid (at least the old one?) is maybe the worst of the prince-chasing genre
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The four year old either a) does not understand or b) does not give a single crap about the proper rules of Jinx, and it’s driving the seven year old crazy
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Me and the trains and the two kids for the day. These kids are gonna get ALL the culture and cuisine this city has. *marathons the escalator/elevator loop at Kenmore Station* *chases squirrels at the Garden* *laughs at the naked butts on the fountains* DADDY WE WANT HOT DOGS
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Once you’re the lava monster at the crowded playground, you don’t get to stop being the lava monster
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Dave Learns Dadding retweeted
Accurate! 💯
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Same vibe
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NASA* has gotten another astronaut** suited up and off to space*** on time****, now it’s time to relax*****! * mom and dad ** six year old *** soccer practice **** if they drive unsafely ***** see what the four year old is crying about
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That reminds me
BREAKING: Residents are reporting roaming gangs of dads patrolling neighborhood thermostats.
Mom acing the emergency dodge maneuver
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Dave Learns Dadding retweeted
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I’d like to thank the city of Boston for providing this humane kid trap
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Dave Learns Dadding retweeted
Pretty sure the four year old won a Magdeburg Unicorn stuffie
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Dave Learns Dadding retweeted
Date night with the kids, puttin on the good cologne for Dave & Busters
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Date night with the kids, puttin on the good cologne for Dave & Busters
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Pretty sure the four year old won a Magdeburg Unicorn stuffie
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Being six means bringing your new favorite stick back from vacation
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