I’ve finally realized that in this Nigeria, the most dangerous job you can take is being the person that says: Don't worry, I know a guy. 🙆♂️
Last week, my friend needed a laptop. Because I’m a good guy, I took him to my trusted plug. I even negotiated a family price for him. I didn't take one kobo as commission, I just wanted to help.
Mistake Number One.
Three days later, the laptop started acting like a generator. The screen is flickering, the battery is dying in 10 minutes, and the fan is sounding like a Boeing 747.
Suddenly, my friend is calling me every 30 minutes like I’m the one who manufactured the laptop in my kitchen. Ah, but you said he’s your person! Is this how you people do?
I called the plug. The guy is not picking. When he finally picked, he said, Ah, Chief, you know how these things be. Tell your friend to bring another ₦20k for service.
Wait, what??
Now I’m stuck in the middle. My friend thinks I followed the plug to eat his money, and the plug thinks I’m a disturbance. I ended up spending my own 20k, cost of fuel, and 4 hours of my life trying to fix a problem that wasn't mine.
Lessons for the street:
Direct Entry is better: If you want to buy something, go to the market yourself. Don't involve my person.
Recommendation is a Debt: The moment you say he’s good, you have automatically signed as a guarantor for any nonsense that happens next.
Fear trusted plugs: Sometimes, the person your friend knows is the one who will give you the most premium shege.
From now on, if you ask me for a connection, my answer is simple: Omo, I don’t even know my way to the bathroom, let alone a laptop plug. 🏃♂️💨
Abeg, who else has helped someone and ended up being the one apologizing for another person's rubbish? Or am I the only guarantor by mistake here? 🤦♂️👇