The greatest tool for sanctification is not sin but sanctified people. Desire to be like Christ should drive us. The NT teaches that acting like Christ has a sanctifying effect on others. My wifeβs Christ-like behavior had a far greater sanctifying influence on me than her sins.
Paul Washer with some absolute HEAT on the complexities of marriage. I love his honesty here:
"Marriage is the greatest instrument of sanctification.
How would you ever learn unconditional love if you were married to someone who met all the conditions?
How would you ever learn mercy, patience, long-suffering, heart-felt compassion if you were married to someone who never failed you?
Who is never difficult with you?
Who never sinned against you?
Who is never slow to acknowledge their sin or ask for forgiveness?
How would you ever learn grace, to pour out your favor on someone who did not deserve it, if you were married to someone who was always deserving of all good things?
The main purpose of marriage is that through your marriage, you both become conformed to the image of Jesus Christ."