Warning: Content is intended as artistic expression/statement. I am *making things up* because I *like how they sound*. DO NOT TAKE ME SERIOUSLY.
Joined October 2011
- Tweets 53
- Following 4
- Followers 5
- Likes 0
Photos and videos
15 Feb 2012
Who in their right mind thinks repeated redesign of the UI is a good idea, in the absence of new functionality? Churn UI: Churn Users.
8 Feb 2012
I have no idea how important posting on the internet actually makes me, but it sure _feels_ like it ought to be a respectable real job...
3 Feb 2012
Sharp cheddar would know it will smart if you brain it with the blunt edge of a leading remark, vs. the cutting edge of a clever cleaver.
2 Feb 2012
Recent research seems to suggest that people who don't share my taste are suffering from an excess of dopamine, and/or bad taste. #lookitup
1 Feb 2012
So, it turns out you can totally get a seat on a crowded bus if you bring a baby & hint at ominous bodily or behavioral timetables, quietly.
31 Jan 2012
What does it say about me, as a man, that I will be taking my baby on the bus today? Why do I feel like there's an insight here somewhere?
25 Jan 2012
I have taken the simple expedient of managing my feed's clutter by not following anyone who says anything. It's much simpler that way.
13 Jan 2012
I was moving through the crowd with my head down. I wouldn't meet their gazes. I just kept eating the fried chicken. God help us all.
13 Jan 2012
Step 1: follow scientists Step 2: wait for posts on sex Step 3: read comments to find idiots Step 4: TROLL WITH SOCIAL JUSTICE Step 5: Grin
22 Dec 2011
I sure hope I get an xmas gift card to the grocery store. It would be like that scene with Bob Cratchit and Scrooge and the Asshole Ghost.
22 Dec 2011
It is very hard to explain to people why I have a radioactive keychain. The short answer is, because it glows. How can they not get that?
13 Dec 2011
I think everybody learns something important about themselves the first time they run out of creamer for their caffeine source of choice.
12 Dec 2011
Eventually, when you get bored enough, your behavior falls apart. Buy board games early. They're like a prophylactic for vandalism and TV.
12 Dec 2011
How many spices does it take to make good cooking? I am serious, this is a philosophy of life kind of question. I might be on trial soon.
7 Dec 2011
I accidentally put too much beer in my Beer & Cheddar Soup. More like Soup and Cheddar Beer, really. Still, no complaints, unsurprisingly.
18 Nov 2011
It is almost too late. If you don't start procrastinating RIGHT NOW, you are totally going to finish reading this message. See? Too late.
18 Nov 2011
Put 1 cm of sugar in a glass. Cover w/ Vodka, add 1 drop v. extract. Fill half with milk/cream, half with flavored seltzer. #itsarecipe
16 Nov 2011
I made a secret deal with Twitter: No one will follow me, and I won't have to listen to any of them either. It is an excellent service.