I listened to this. God, he's boring. That fake gravitas and even more fake good humour with the journalists.

How time flies. One minute Harper Beckham is a cute little baby, the next she's a 20-year-old influencer

Really enjoyed today's #DesertIslandDiscs with Peter Layton. A genuinely interesting guest. A lot of them are either boring or gushing, I find, but he was neither: modest despite a fascinating life.

David Lammy really is a moron

I moaned about the heatwave but now I'm moaning about the ridiculous howling gales of rain in this country right now. Me and a stranger got blown into some railings outside earlier. I could have died! Here to moan and occasionally hyperbolise about the British weather.

I still cringe at Dolly Alderton and her mate Pandora Sykes in 2020, sharing their Black Lives Matter reading list so that we could all educate ourselves

Nicola Sturgeon has updated her pronouns to him/not me

Nicola Sturgeon finds herself struggling to log in to a website...

The brazen self-pity. What sentence exactly is she serving?? She's swanning around promoting her memoir

One more sleep (airless, boiling) till it's 19 glorious degrees outside and a bonus rain episode. I cannot wait for shit summer UK-style to commence!

How to f*ck up a riddle

Why is there always a shop at the airport selling luggage? Who the hell is going on holiday with armfuls of clothes, thinking 'Fuck it, we'll pack when we get there' ???

You’re being naive. At best. The point is the law is there for a valid reason in the Uk. Over 60% of trans identifying males are in prison for sexual assault against women. The average among the male prison estate is 18%. I could give you horror stories of fully intact men changing next to children in leisure centres & swimming pools. Grow up Kirsty. Of course women are persecuted all over the world. We all try to change that too. I’ve worked with Iranian & Afghan women. That doesn’t mean we tolerate discrimination here to help them though. And we don’t agree to subject our girls to voyeurism or risk.

By 11 a.m. in this heatwave, I am absolutely knackered. Possibly because being in my flat is like being slow-cooked in a crockpot. I can barely shift my stumps off the sofa and lurch to the fridge for an ice pack. Actually feel quite ill. I was built for Edwardian times you see.

Extraordinary that wee Jimmy Krankie knew nothing about her husband's sudden extravagance. Love is blind.

It's heatwave-in-Blighty time again. Just a reminder that buying gel ice packs and shoving them in the freezer, then removing them a few hours later and putting your hot feet on them is better than sex

These reality shows attract a kind of person intent on exposure and fame. Fragile egos amongst the male contenders, emotional immaturity, a particular view of women and specifically what they are entitled to from women. A grim cocktail, underestimated by the shows' creators.

I am in the minority I know, but Eurovision really is the most tedious load of shite.

Sam Prince really has got the mental age of a 12-year-old. His brain development was clearly arrested in pre-pubescence #madeinchelsea

Seth, oblivious to the fact that he has just dissed telly royalty. Acorn Antiques, Better Things (a brilliant US TV show, btw), to name a couple of her triumphs. I'll bet if the situation were reversed, he wouldn't be laughing so graciously.