Not your father’s Beef Lord.
Joined September 2010
- Tweets 21,582
- Following 162
- Followers 222
- Likes 12,293
1,484 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
21 Jan 2025
Right. I’m done here. Catch you over on BS.
bsky.app/profile/estebansemt…
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29 Oct 2024
The person who realised you can just lie about “higher than usual call volumes” instead of hiring enough staff deserves to be slowly penetrated by a Rhino.
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28 Oct 2024
I love this time of year. The leaves turning. The chilly nights. Digging out my jumpers. The stench of rotting pumpkins on every street.
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26 Sep 2024
Amazing.
25 Sep 2024
Columbo is so big in Japan that there’s a series of books and TV movies titled "Columbo of Shinano," featuring a detective who dresses and behaves like him. I've no idea what he's saying in this clip, but I can guess.
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31 Aug 2024
Surfacing from my honeymoon to briefly laugh my cock off at Oasis fans. The thick end of £500 to watch those? You fucking deserve Ticketmaster and surge priced Hotels.
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17 Aug 2024
Happy Saturday to everyone expect the person who decided that whenever you ask your Google speaker to ply a song on Spotify it will choose the shittiest live recording it can. To you, whoever you are, I hope you get sand under your foreskin.
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15 Aug 2024
I’m beginning to think I could lock George Clarke in a hotel room like in Old Boy and he’d come out after 15 years and call it an “Amazing Space”.
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5 Aug 2024
We’ve had a harrowing weekend of Fucking Around, so I’m very much looking forward to this week’s theme of Find Out.
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27 Jul 2024
Smashing a sausage sandwich and having strong opinions on the 3m synchronised diving. We are so back. #Paris2024
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27 Jul 2024
Bronze for Team GB! I take partial credit for my insights on over-rotation and the like. #TeamGB
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26 Jul 2024
Fuck me. Wrap it up lads. I need to be up early for the rowing heats. #OpeningCeremony
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26 Jul 2024
Paris, furious at not having the Olympics for 100 years, petulantly make their Opening Ceremony last an entire century. #OpeningCeremony
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26 Jul 2024
You stand for peace but still let Israel compete. Gotcha. Lip service. Fucking cowards. #OpeningCeremony
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26 Jul 2024
Gojira are fucking class. And that staging was metal as fuck. Most metal Olympics ever? #OpeningCeremony
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21 Jul 2024
Know what’s mad? Bisto have a calorie per serving notice on the jar. And the serving size? 50ml.
If I made a meal that required gravy and gave you 50ml of it, I could be tried for a crime against humanity.
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20 Jul 2024
Also. Can we stop acting as if DIY is a hobby? It’s a fucking sentence.
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