The Texas Quote of the Day is a collection of quotes by the great Mike Leach, former football coach at Texas Tech:
"Golf’s pretty much for people that don’t swear effectively enough or need practice at it, and so there are people that need golf. I don’t think I do."
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"I do have a Viking axe by the bed if I need to whack someone. My wife bought me a Viking axe. The axe side curls down so you can grab the adversary around the neck and you can use it to climb walls, as a grappling hook.”
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“I ought to have Mike's Pirate School. The freshmen, all they get is the bandanna. When you're a senior, you get the sword and skull and crossbones. For homework, we'll work pirate maneuvers and stuff like that.”
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"Growing up in Wyoming, I can tell you that If a pinecone war breaks out you have no choice but to engage in it. There are no neutral countries in pinecone wars."
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"If you're calling 50% run plays and 50% pass plays, you're 50% stupid."
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"First advice — elope! Just eliminate all the family input aggravation, change of constant, change of course that exists with planning weddings, and the anxiety and the pressure that almost drives people to divorce before they even start."
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"They’d start talking about evolution, like if you don’t use a certain part of your body, as time evolves over century upon century, in natural selection, that part of the body disappears and even that animal might disappear.
I’m genuinely fearful that, on our team, if me and the other coaches don’t get them right, that about a generation from now our receivers' kids and their grandkids won’t have hands. Because from a lack of use those hands just disappear. Maybe they’ll be like this (Leach does raptor hands at the podium), like those dinosaur hands like this. And you’ve got like a Tyrannosaurus Rex, which is clearly really good at eating things, with big ol’ jaws and all that stuff, certainly athletic and can run. But those hands are like this (gestures again).”
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""Well eggs create life, so you could argue this is the most important game there is." --- Mike Leach, explaining how important the egg bowl game (between Mississippi State and Ol' Miss) is.
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"There's 3 tigers in the SEC. Well, that's what makes it a tough conference." ---- Mike Leach, as part of an exploration as to who would win in an SEC mascot brawl
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"First of all, what kind of mystical powers does a sun devil have? We've got to consider that. I'm going to say the wildcat's out. The Trojan, does he have a horse or is he on foot? Does he have a bow and arrow or just his sword? The bruin is definitely formidable. Another bear up there at Cal. The tree... I imagine that tree is going to get chopped down unless we're going to go with the bird and then someone might get pecked or something, I don't know. And then the duck. The duck might lose interest and fly away and get out of there which may be good advice under the circumstances. The husky, no chance. The beaver? Well, we'll see how long that beaver can hold his breath. The Ute? Again, we're back to: is he on horseback? Does he have a bow and arrow? Did he trade for a rifle? I mean, because if that Ute's got a rifle, there's some definite problems. You know, you'd have to get one of those Harry Potter activists to read up on how you kill a sun devil because there's a lot of outside stuff there. Just as far as a beast alone, a buffalo is going to be pretty hard to tangle with. I mean, a buffalo is utterly outstanding. Butch (the Washington State mascot) is going to have to be clear minded and crafty. I mean, Butch will find a way, there's no question. The cougar will find a way ---- clear minded and crafty, a combination of stay out of harm's way and attack when you get your chances or your openings." ---- Mike Leach, exploring who would win in a Pac-12 mascot brawl