5 Social boundary rules I wish I’d learned sooner… 1. The Three-Second Pause… When someone asks you for a favour you have absolutely no desire to do, don’t answer immediately. Pause for three seconds. It gives the impression you’re carefully considering the request rather than searching for the politest way to say, “Good Lord, no.” 2. The No-Excuse Rule… If you’re declining an invitation, resist the urge to provide a detailed explanation. “I can’t make it, but thank you for thinking of me” is perfectly sufficient. The more details you provide, the more opportunities people have to turn your refusal into a group problem-solving exercise. 3. The Mirror Method… When someone pushes a boundary, calmly repeat back what they’re actually asking. “Just so I understand correctly, you’d like me to put my priorities aside to accommodate yours?” It’s remarkable how often people hear themselves properly for the first time. 4. The Physical Exit Strategy… If someone is monopolising your time, start moving before you start explaining. Stand up. Gather your things. Angle yourself towards the door. Most people understand body language far better than they understand hints. 5. The Complete Sentence… “No” is a complete sentence. Not a rough draft. Not an opening bid. Not the beginning of a negotiation. Just a sentence. A surprisingly useful one, as it happens.🎩💙

Finches - does 3 qualify for a charm of finches? These are pictured next to my garlic chives, few of which survived my dad 'helping' in the garden. Thank you goodness for this lovely memory of them.

sketchbook corner: musical bird...

sketchbook corner: songbird...

sketchbook corner: distant shower clouds....

Whilst it's true that I normally portray foxes sleeping, I also like to capture them on the run (or scratching, or pre pounce). A couple of these are close ups rather than the whole painting. I hope you like them. Stunning creatures.

sketchbook corner: pot luck....

The cheapest, most effective wildfire crew in California has four legs and eats the problem. Clearing flammable brush off a steep slope by hand is brutal, slow, expensive work. A herd of goats is none of those things. Hand clearance: - Around 28,000 dollars an acre - People with tools on dangerous slopes - Cuttings that then have to be hauled away A herd of goats: - Roughly 500 to 1,000 dollars an acre - Climbs slopes no crew wants to touch - Eats the brush to a firebreak and fertilises the ground on the way through - Reaches branches several feet up - Visibly thrilled to be at work Calling the goat a quaint throwback has it backwards. On this job the goat is the superior technology by a factor of about fifty, and it runs on the very scrub everyone else is paying to remove.

sketchbook corner: surrounded by lions...

sketchbook corner: sketchy, blotchy, inky birds...

sketchbook corner: new pen nib, old crows...

sketchbook corner: "Morning"...

I know you can leave thinking about this kind of thing until December when the postal system is creeking and think it's too late to get one (it won't be - they'll be in stock until May 2027). But you can also get one now. I love how they've turned out. 2/

For various reasons, my head was full of foxes yesterday. I wish them all safe lives, free from vehicles, mange, hunger. And I know, for a few, that is the case. Endlessly beautiful, endlessly inspiring.

sketchbook corner: small scrap of watercolour paper, deserving of a bird...

Federal prosecutors just charged an NIH virologist with smuggling biological materials into the United States. His name is Vincent Munster. He's not a minor scientist. He runs the Virus Ecology Section at one of the government's premier BSL-4 labs. This is bigger than a customs charge. Thread 🧵

sketchbook corner: fly past...

sketchbook corner: Dog & Flower...

I saw it. Now you have to see it. His name is Samuel. And he…is a king.

You have, within you, more love than you could ever understand. Rumi And when I was first starting out painting in watercolours, I never let the colour of a fox hold me back!!! Blue foxes, purple foxes. You name it. I'd also just discovered the Chile Lantern Tree!