Illegal slam poetry and networking opportunities
Joined October 2020
- Tweets 7,028
- Following 978
- Followers 2,211
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579 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
No, I don't "make" her cum, she's her own person. She can cum if she wants to, which she doesn't I guess
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woke up (again)
why would god fill one monkey with so much electricity
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Another day, another dollar? Unacceptable.
I want at least one thousand dollars.
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Grandmaster Trash: Exact Trash Only ๐ฎ๐ช ๐ต๐ธ retweeted
I was the first person ever to say we should stop inhaling deadly vapors from the broken refrigerator under the overpass
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Americans cracking lucky charms jokes are so offensive with those stereotypes
We donโt even have that cereal in Ireland man all we eat for breakfast is dirt and whiskey
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surely we can find a more appropriate name for our tree club than the C word
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Grandmaster Trash: Exact Trash Only ๐ฎ๐ช ๐ต๐ธ retweeted
30 Jun 2024
"Regards" and "Best" are goated sign offs
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Emailing 101
29 Jun 2024
My buddy used to sign "Regards" it was so great because he fuckin hates everyone
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Email sign offs are crazy. All the best? Sorry pal, best I can do is worst
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'Employees Must Wash Their Hands' bitch I don't work here
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Grandmaster Trash: Exact Trash Only ๐ฎ๐ช ๐ต๐ธ retweeted
Frog: I don't understand, why did you sting me? Now we'll BOTH drown
Scorpion: You don't understand economics. Stinging you actually creates JOBS. This sting will trickle down the river & birth a new era of prosperity. Big Tobacco paid me 15 million scorpion dollars to sting you
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22:30: Naturally tired, eau naturale babyyy, I don't need no melatonin to get my sleep on this time
3:37: wtf are puppies even dreaming about. Like they've never even seen anything. Alexa, Google if dogs have reincarnation or if it's just hippies
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Good morning fellow pigeons in the park jostling for position at the bench of the dignified old widower who comes to feed us every Sunday let's get this mf BREAD โ๐ค
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Christians who complain about women having nose rings 1, missed the part in Genesis where Abrahamโs servant gifted Rebekah a nose ring and 2, missed the fact that nose rings are hot as fuck
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Woke up straight again today, but it was a close one. This is a hard month, long and hard.
Girthy.
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Flying high. Actualising. Reading omens and portents in my daily Wordle puzzles.
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I never sleep
16 Jun 2024
all men do is lie and sleep
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Radio was too gay today, had to turn it off. Whatever happened to Chilli Peppers, Aerosmith, Zeppelin?
You know, stuff I can play in front of the kids
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Grandmaster Trash: Exact Trash Only ๐ฎ๐ช ๐ต๐ธ retweeted
pronouncing the word 'cupcake' like 'bukkake' in a doomed attempt to flirt with the Starbucks cashier
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Is it really Cotton Eyeโd Joeโs fault youโre not married, or is it your anxious avoidant attachment style?
Itโs all laid out here in my overpriced instagram Ad course for which I have no qualifications
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