Bored mayonnaise enthusiast. May have visited this slum before as your boy MetricButtload.

Joined September 2021
352 Photos and videos
29 Mar 2022
Spring has sprung.
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29 Mar 2022
If he tries to think too hard it smells like burning cabbage.
Biden had to have “I was not articulating a change in policy” written verbatim on a notecard so he wouldn’t screw it up… and he still screwed it up
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29 Mar 2022
Top notch journalism. That’s what this is.
28 Mar 2022
PBS reporter to Joe Biden: "You have more foreign policy experience than any president who has ever held this office." #Journalism
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29 Mar 2022
This is, of course, a big fucking lie.
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29 Mar 2022
Unpopular opinion: all capital gains taxes are a form of theft and should make everyone flip all the fucking tables. Taxes on unrealized gains is the highest order bullshit yet. Tax my current gains. I presume that means unrealized losses will offset. And fuck off.
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29 Mar 2022
This is the wrongest fucking take possible.
"Unrealized" throws people off when it comes to capital gains. If you bought $10,000 worth of a stock and it goes to $1 million, you're a lot wealthier, even if you haven't actually liquidated it yet. The gains may be tricky when it comes to taxes, but they're still real.
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28 Mar 2022
We travel a lot, but haven’t made it to Hawaii together. I got there on a submarine once, then Iniki hit, so that doesn’t count.
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28 Mar 2022
Looking to surprise Shug with a nice trip. Leaning hard at Hawaii, ‘cause we had a trip planned for Maui cancelled by the plague. Need a rec for something cool.
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28 Mar 2022
The mating call of a loser:
28 Mar 2022
The myth of “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps” is a cruel hoax designed to convince poor people and people of color that the injustices they face are a result of their own actions, rather than an oppressive system rigged against them.
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28 Mar 2022
You also coddle violent criminals and homeless addicts.
In Oregon, we say gay. I'm horrified and outraged by the anti-LGBTQIA legislation that was just signed in Florida, making schools a less safe space for LGBTQIA kids. Oregon will always be a safe, inclusive, and welcoming place — no matter one’s sexual orientation or identity.
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FSakes retweeted
28 Mar 2022
We are going after "billionaires" is a trick they use to get you to give up your principles so they can come after you. The govt isn't looking to hire 87,000 new IRS agents because of "billionaires". They aren't going after the wealthy, they are creating barriers for you.
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FSakes retweeted
28 Mar 2022
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she’s not gonna sleep with you, Will
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FSakes retweeted
Jenny was awful.
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28 Mar 2022
Haha! Nice one, crazy lady. x.com/miriam2626/status/1508…

27 Mar 2022
36 hour sous vide at 160°. Ice bath. A day in the fridge. Three hours on smoke at 225°. I swear.
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27 Mar 2022
Okay. Cheating from now on.
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27 Mar 2022
Unpopular opinion: Ingrid Bergman - kinda hot.
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27 Mar 2022
May put my head through a wall today. Just know that wall fucking had it coming.
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FSakes retweeted
if this is an endorsement i'll take it
27 Mar 2022
Replying to @mosesmosesmoses
More women need USN humor. Just saying.
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