Style tips for proper writing. contact: fakeapstylebook at gmail dot com. No submissions, please. All material copyright The Bureau Chiefs, LLC.
Joined October 2009
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7 Photos and videos
14 Jun 2023
Call them TERFs or assholes or whatever you want. Fuck 'em.
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24 May 2023
Refer to death threats made to retail employees by domestic terrorists as "controversy." We don't want to upset the strange man in the red hat writing everyone's license plate numbers down.
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17 May 2023
When profiling the latest fascist du jour politician, imagine that you're giving just the best blowjob ever. Like you're really going to town down there.
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16 May 2023
Always fact check the hypothetical existence of blood emerald mines. You don't want to get Community Notes from those people.
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15 May 2023
Commas and periods go within quotation marks.
Example: “We are deleting accounts that have not logged in for 30 days,” he said. Later, he said, “Enough people hollered at me online so that we are deleting accounts that have not logged in for 30 years.”
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14 May 2023
Always use passive voice when repeating police department claims like a good little sub.
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13 May 2023
Mistakes in articles written by your summer intern/lead VC investor's idiot nephew Sandy can now be blamed upon "AI experimentation."
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12 May 2023
Baker's dozen - Outdated. From now on, to describe a 13 count of something, please use the current term, a "Santos."
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6 Nov 2020
We advise any heavily concussed editors to take medical leave. x.com/JimZarroli/status/1324…
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6 Nov 2020
Bucking up and doing your damn job is always in style.
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Fake AP Stylebook retweeted
30 Aug 2012
If you get thirsty, make sure you're drinking from the right water fountain. #RNC
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Fake AP Stylebook retweeted
20 Jan 2017
In all political stories from now on, be sure to note whether or not the trains run on time.
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Fake AP Stylebook retweeted
25 Aug 2011
It's never too early for your political columnists to start speculating on the 2020 King of Hobomerica death-fight primaries.
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Fake AP Stylebook retweeted
6 Jan 2017
How about you just call it fucking fascism on first reference for once in your goddamn life.
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Fake AP Stylebook retweeted
18 Jul 2011
Don't be murdered.
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Fake AP Stylebook retweeted
9 Aug 2011
Don't forget your local elections this year, as whoever wins the mayoral race will most certainly run Bartertown.
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Fake AP Stylebook retweeted
19 Sep 2011
The past tense of "Netflix" is "Netflucked."
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