Joined March 2009
- Tweets 17,640
- Following 1,126
- Followers 31,888
- Likes 9,752
1,818 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
29 Aug 2025
My next book cover changed again, by the way. Basically, the Australian and New Zealand publishers said that they liked the UK cover but they also liked the colours on the American cover and then we decided that we agreed, so now this is also the UK cover.
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Jun 11
It's just hours until the World Cup begins. What better time for us to release our Newcastle Natter season review? Out now, wherever you get your podcasts.
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Jun 10
First thing my son said to me this morning when I woke him up: 'Dad? What's your favourite owl fact?'
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Jun 9
Wonder if the serving hot drinks in glasses with no handles era will last as long as the serving meals on chopping boards era has done.
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Jun 4
Starting to regret buying tickets for Day 8 of the Lord's Test.
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Jun 3
Just finished a first draft of another one of my silly little books. Can’t tell you what this one is yet. Bags of work to do, but tonight I will celebrate the same way Jane Austen did on nights like these: with a pint of beer and Mike Atherton’s 2002 autobiography ‘Opening Up’
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Fergus Craig retweeted
Jun 1
ATTENTION! For the month of June, I'm Not the Only Murderer in My Retirement Home is available on kindle for the low, low price of 99p. And by the looks of it, with the new paperback cover too!
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One of the best books of the year, for less than a quid!
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Jun 1
ATTENTION! For the month of June, I'm Not the Only Murderer in My Retirement Home is available on kindle for the low, low price of 99p. And by the looks of it, with the new paperback cover too!
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May 30
Penalty shootouts haven't been the same since they started using the straight on camera angle.
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May 30
Not sure I can imagine anything more stressful than Arteta shouting at me before I have to take an important penalty.
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May 30
In court the foreman of the jury should be able to announce the verdict as 'We find the defendant not guilty but we've seen them given.'
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May 24
I say from now on they should do a guard of honour every single time a player is subbed.
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May 24
Seriously lovely review for I’m Not The Only Murderer In My Retirement Home in The Australian. I may have to walk there to say thank you.
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May 24
If I've understood it correctly, I can't watch the Newcastle game on Sky plus because I don't have a smart tv. Only pay about £100 a month. Livid. Thanks Keir Starmer.
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May 24
Feels like none of you are as furious about this as I am. At first I didn't stand up for the Sky HD digi box users who support a team not featured on the main channels...
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May 24
Problem’s been solved now which sadly means I have to go through the absolutely horrific experience of watching Newcastle United play football.
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May 24
Blocked me which means I’m unable to ask if he’s standing up for Sky or genuinely thought I was blaming Starmer. Good to see I’m still making friends!
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May 24
I think you'll find I copyrighted that name. You'll be hearing from my lawyers.
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