Despite the fact that my Twitter feed often consists of taking shots at the appalling state of the world, I am not a morose or despairing person. I’m a joyous cynic and a gladsome naysayer.

Really hoping this was real and not AI. I wouldn’t put it past some Louisianan’s to do this tho.

A young man stocking shelves in Food Lion got to chatting with me today, and turns out he has written a memoir about coming up in poverty, going to prison, and finally getting his life turned around. Just the nicest most wholesome young man. Stop doomscrolling and talk to real people, y’all. There are good folks out there still. All over the place.

And now I will impart to all of you a family secret sunburn remedy: Mix equal parts aloe vera gel, hydrocortisone cream, and zinc oxide (just use the white Desitin diaper rash paste). Keep in the fridge. Best stuff ever. Doc hubs even used it shipboard in the Navy when all the pasty new seamen fried themselves silly on the deck the first week.

On a side note, please teach your kids the difference between net worth and liquid assets. Because evidently we have a lot of people with Scrooge McDuck and a vault of spendable money in their heads for the former.

No, honey - our BBQ “wars” are all in good fun. We have so many regions and so many styles, and all defended passionately as the best - but in truth all BBQ ppl are good folks who just want to load up your plate with American goodness.

Apparently I have just started a war among my new American friends 😮‍💨🫡

Tailgating IS the premier American sport. I know people IRL who go to games just to tailgate - even if they have no ticket, and never enter the stadium. But they are partying and cheering anyway.

For any of my Orthodox friends excessively worried about the quality of recent converts: The church historically has had worse and more immature convert surges than this. See: St. Paul having to patiently and repeatedly reinforce that no, participating in idolatry even as a “cultural norm” was not compatible with the faith. See: All the multiple nonsense all of the epistles had to address. His response was not “Bar the doors! Stop converting terrible/stupid people!” His response was to teach them. So pray for your priests and bishops. And get busy as a loving example in your own parish.

Ok. I have to admit that this is probably part "religious"and part "the priests just wanted to do something awesome".

Welp. Three hours of sleep and I’m up. Dog was sick aaalll over the bed. Once I jump up, rush doggo outside, and strip an entire bed I’m pretty much awake and not getting back to sleep anytime soon.

That may be where she got the idea. She was well-versed in old stories and folk tales.

Always wondered what this what about

So this post kinda blew up a little, and I notice that there are a great many men liking it. Maybe because they yearn to one day be a grandpa with deadpan tall tales. I am begging women to understand that men do have soft spots aplenty - they just sometimes manifest a little differently than ours do.

My grandmother, when I was small, convinced me for an entire summer that you could tame a bird by shaking salt on its tail - the bird would be COMPLETELY tame and your friend forever. She’d hand me the salt shaker, and I’d spend hours stalking birds, determined to pull this off. Out of her hair all day. 😂😂🤣🤣

I have fond memories of my granddaddy, if we got a splinter or whatever, pulling out his pocketknife and calmly announcing the only fix was to cut the finger off. We’d run screaming, he’d come after us with “Wait, come here, don’t you need me to fix the splinter?” Kids GET jokes, ya’ll. Even horrible ones. Often better than adults do.