just an account

Joined February 2018
289 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
Once i figure out how to articulate my thoughts you guys are fucked
55
32,169
134,486
5,272,421
John Kennedy retweeted
Trump finding out the Knicks win streak is 13: im going to fuck it
34
2,073
38,981
816,022
Is he sitting on his balls
Sid Rosenberg encourages the Jewish community to be proud and not to "hide your yarmulkes."
9
13
674
46,608
Cute girl: haha what are you listening to (She takes my earbud) Ai movie recap of Forrest Gump: the retarded man held bubba while dead. He knew bubba did shrimp. A shrimp boat in bubbas memory for fishing. no legs Dan meets god while out shrimping
8
376
9,230
199,372
John Kennedy retweeted
“wait a second… Heat rises” (it hits me) “heat rises!” Bank teller on floor: what? “Heat rises!” (I rush at the armed robber and he shoots me in the face killing me instantly. It’s unclear what my plan was)
114
8,645
122,902
2,090,206
This is just a turkey neck. My grandma had one. It would jiggle when she spoke. We later found out she was a member of the kgb and it was a mask. I smothered her with a pillow. I miss her every day
Admiral Robert Harward is GOING VIRAL Here are BOTH CLIPS UNEDITED of the interview from 5/18 and yesterday 5/21 People are saying it is NOT HIM it is someone else WEARING a mask. To me it looks and sounds like two different people, but both are of him Watch and tell me what do you think?
181
1,150
35,121
1,397,041
John Kennedy retweeted
I wrote for Zack and Cody for about 3 months back in 2006 heres some of my scripts that never made it to air
744
18,256
203,773
John Kennedy retweeted
ME: Can I buy you a drink? HER: I have a boyfriend. ME: {counting coins on the table} He can only get something small then.
236
53,405
262,320
John Kennedy retweeted
[Home Depot staff meeting] BOSS: Someone has been breaking all the wood. Any idea who it is? ME: [tightening my green karate belt] Probably someone pretty strong.
62
8,537
38,359
John Kennedy retweeted
Took Adderall too late in the day yesterday and was up until 4am writing down compliments i could give a judge to get him on my side if im on trial
115
3,998
48,457
2,629,754
John Kennedy retweeted
1
204
5,245
176,986
John Kennedy retweeted
On the 9th day of Christmas my true love gave to me
30 buff niggas. 12 niggas who do nyaope. 18 sprinters. 5 regular niggas who work a 9-5. 8 white guys from Benoni. 1 madala with a whip. 6 Zulu taxi drivers. 5 Pedis. 9 guys who work at Build It or CashBuild and Me. And you’re telling me we’re not definitely defeating the Gorilla?
48
3,464
35,938
1,101,648
NBA became unwatchable when I found out the players have people that do their taxes for them
1
1
43
3,273
John Kennedy retweeted
Mcdonalds employee: your voice sounds so familiar Me: guess i just have one of those voices haha employee: [snapping] you called earlier asking if we had a pool
2
304
5,685
“wait a second… Heat rises” (it hits me) “heat rises!” Bank teller on floor: what? “Heat rises!” (I rush at the armed robber and he shoots me in the face killing me instantly. It’s unclear what my plan was)
114
8,645
122,902
2,090,206
Follow me I tweet once every 2 months x.com/frazzlemygimp/status/9…

ME: Can I buy you a drink? HER: I have a boyfriend. ME: {counting coins on the table} He can only get something small then.
11
5
922
263,851
John Kennedy retweeted
every two years tiger woods either wins a golf thing or crashes his car and dies
3
258
4,347
111,914
John Kennedy retweeted
WIFE: I regret getting you that blender for Christmas. ME: {drinking toast} Why?
89
7,488
35,716
John Kennedy retweeted
me: if I wished that I would look good in hats would my head change shape or would the hats? genie: what do you want to happen?
8
161
5,145
155,189
John Kennedy retweeted
Mom: did you get an A on your spanish test Me: C Mom: okay mr mexico 🤩
194
15,152
230,783