Writes: stuff & nonsense. (Mostly nonsense.) Drawn to: #microfiction, prose poems, the melan-comic, the Absurd. Sometime freelance copy/content writer/editor.
Joined March 2009
- Tweets 14,738
- Following 3,838
- Followers 2,829
- Likes 95,914
960 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
A SHORT PLAY FOR TWO ACTORS (ONE SHAVEN, ONE NOT)
ACT 1.
INT. PUB - AFTERNOON
MAN sits down at bar, begins to stroke beard mysteriously.
ACT 2.
INT. PUB - NIGHT
OTHER MAN (Having finally plucked up courage): Oi, do you mind? That's my beard.
THE END
#SFFiction
41
128
415
To the relief of pensioners everywhere, rumours of an impending Werther's Originals shortage have been definitively butterscotched today. "Mmph… schmmph… justaminute…," said a spokesman for the beloved brand, before finally finishing his sweet & blaming "the internet".
#vss365
2
2
14
355
If only we wore pendulums instead of ties, we would always know what time it is.
1
8
140
1
1
13
185
celebration
(noun)
diet endorsed by a celebrity
e.g. 'Just a small kale salad for me, please — and hold the dressing. It's a #celebration.'
#vss365
1
2
13
256
Anticipation
is the future's wrapping paper.
#vss365 #anticipation
1
6
12
306
–I'm as surprised as you are, she shrugged. Twenty years of all your lamentations, and I'd have sworn blind you were tone deaf.
2/2
4
96
TIPS FOR A BROKEN KEYBOARD
· If for whatever reason u are unable to write 'night', simply write the word 'evening' instead & change the typeface to bold
· In the event of broken CAPS LOCK & SHIFT, write solely in whispers, of little to no importance, addressed to no-one
#vss365
13
237
At the back of every mirror shop is a small well-lit room with hooks on the walls, where you can hang up any mirrors you're thinking about buying and try on the reflections.
1
1
7
223
The National Museum of Taxidermy—closed in unfortunate circumstances, late last December—will finally reopen, following extensive renovations and repairs, as Britain's first and only #wolpertinger museum, early next spring.
#vss365
1
25
327
I met my #doppelganger once.
Or vice versa, perhaps…
Anyway, the whole thing was a little awkward, to be honest.
Secretly, I think, we'd both been hoping, that if we had one, he'd be just a bit better looking.
#vss365
2
22
292
4
13
47
1,207
Or, well, you know... words to that effect.
1
1
91
5
5
38
842