THE FRIENDSHIP
By Geri Perna
I've often thought that some friendships are a lot like a slice of cake.
When a friendship is new, you're the icing.
You're the part that's noticed first. The part people look forward to. They call, text, check in, and seem genuinely interested in what you have to say. Your thoughts matter. Your feelings matter. You feel seen. Appreciated. Maybe even a little special.
It's easy to believe you've found someone who truly values you.
But life has a way of changing things.
People get busy. Their focus shifts. New interests, new priorities, new relationships begin to take up space. The connection that once felt effortless starts requiring more effort from one side than the other.
Before long, you're no longer the icing.
You're the cake underneath.
The cake is still good. It still has substance and value. But it doesn't seem to get the same attention. The excitement fades. Conversations become shorter or less frequent. The friendship is still there, but it doesn't feel quite the same.
Then more time passes.
Now even the cake is gone.
All that's left are a few crumbs scattered across a paper plate.
The phone rarely rings. Messages go unanswered. Plans never quite come together. You find yourself remembering how close you once were and wondering when everything changed.
The crumbs sit there quietly, holding the memory of what once felt important.
And then one day, the plate is cleared.
The crumbs are brushed away, and all that's left is a faint chocolate stain on a paper plateโa small reminder that something meaningful once existed.
For me, the hardest part isn't losing the friendship.
The hardest part is realizing that when you were the icing, you thought the friendship would always stay that way. You thought the connection itself was what mattered.
Sometimes, though, people are drawn to what a friendship gives them during a particular season of life. When that season changes, so does the relationship.
But real friendship is different.
Real friendship doesn't value the icing more than the cake, or the cake more than the crumbs. It understands that people go through different seasons. It stays present through the exciting moments and the ordinary ones. It survives distance, time, and change.
Because true friendship was never about the icing, the cake, or even the crumbs.
It was always about the people sharing the slice.