Hey guys,
Sorry for crashing out and crying on stream yesterday.
I tired my best to keep going, but in the end i couldn't even stay anything verbally because I broke down.
To give a little bit of context for those who weren't around, I got really heated over the fact that my skills were being joked about and belittled. Which in the end I should have just said to stop and drawn a boundary, I thought I was being sensitive for doing so. But after some thought I realized I don't think I was.
Being a girl who does FPS games, I should "be use" to being treated like that, as I always have been treated when playing those types of games growing up. Always needing to prove myself and what I can do. Even when I have very little faith in my own abilities and playing solo.
Sniping is what I believe I have even a little bit of confidence in. Something that im even a little proud of. Which is a rarity for me. To have something like that be put into question and then belittled into something that I need to do in order to "prove myself" as a gamer really hurt. Even when I did show my skills from previous plays, it wasn't taken seriously.
In the end I'm realizing that I shouldn't need to prove anything to anyone. Any other woman who had went through this isn't sensitive and it should not be normalized as much as it has.
Moving forward I'm not going to be paying attention to people who do this to me, and it will result in a ban or time out if you purposely do this. I am setting my boundy to protect myself and my mental health.
I hope you can understand ❤️