Today is Good Friday. Even as a Bible scholar, I admit: the name is a little strange if you think about it. It’s strange because almost nothing that happened on this day was, well...good. Someone got betrayed. Someone got arrested. Someone got tortured, mocked, spit on, whipped, and murdered. That someone was, of course, Jesus. All that makes the comedian side of me think we should’ve called it “Humans Suck Friday” or “Everyone Failed Jesus Friday.” Good Friday was basically the day God let humanity bomb on the cosmic stage. Some say the name “Good Friday” comes from an old German phrase meaning “God’s Friday.” Others say it’s from Old English for “Holy Friday.” I don’t know, maybe some poor monk misunderstood the assignment or got the wrong memo, suspected he was tasked with naming brunch or something, and went with “good.” By all human definitions, Good Friday is really a terrible day. If you stacked betrayal, injustice, cowardice, violence, and death into one day, Congratulations!, I guess you’ve got yourself a Good Friday. So odd! Just to remind ourselves how odd this is, let’s run the list: 1) Judas sells out Jesus for thirty pieces of silver. That’s like the same amount you’d pay for a well-bred golden retriever these days. Come on, Judas! We could’ve had a dog mascot running with the apostles & disciples! 2) Peter folds faster than my wife’s Tommy Bahama lawn chair. Three times before sunrise! 3) Pilate literally says, “I find no fault in him,” then sends him off to be executed anyway. What? Okay! That makes sense! Next, 4) the crowd chooses Barabbas, a known equivalent of an ancient terrorist or political insurrectionist, over the man who gave out free bread and healed people on his days off. Oddly, Barabbas is a Semitic name that means “son (bar) of the father (abbas).” So, Jesus, the Son of The Father, was given in exchange for Barabbas, the son of the father. A cool little fact. And…now ya know! 5) Roman guards mock Jesus, spit on him, beat him, and play dress-up like it’s Halloween. We all know how the story goes: Jesus is crucified, naked, bleeding, humiliated, between two other political insurrectionists, two zealots (not thieves but political bandits!), while people scream for his blood. 6) The disciples vanish faster than dads at a kid’s birthday party when someone says “We need help with the cake.” Which isn’t quite as fast as my dad vanished on me when I was 5, but you get the point. All in all, it was a cosmic-sized disaster. Eventually, the sky literally decided it had enough and went dark. The earth was pissed and shook. Graves opened. People panicked. And still, we call it Good. Who are we?! Why do we do such things? Well, here’s something to consider. I think we know deep down that, tucked inside all that horror, was something better than good. Something so absurdly beautiful it’s still unfolding two thousand years later. There was something great. Good Friday, like a good joke, is a setup. Good Friday, ironically, is the darkest chapter right before the plot twist, the insane misdirect that flips the world on its head. It’s the day Jesus said, “I see your sin, your shame, your worst, and you know what, give it here; I’ll take it.” And then he did. Willingly. Who is he?! Most people wouldn’t even take their spouse’s student loans or credit scores willingly. But Jesus took our punishment, our guilt, our death. And he didn’t just survive it. He flipped it. He started a joke that would give the ultimate misdirection at the end, the surprise twist. A punchline that’s not just good, but absolutely incredible, miraculous even. Jesus was being like the ultimate comedian on Good Friday and so, while I know the day is solemn and holy and scared and we’re supposed to have reverence, I think we can have some holy laughter, too. So, hang with me for just another moment, and let’s be honest. There are some parts of Good Friday that are, I think, hilarious, even if unintentionally so. 1) Judas tries to do an in-store return and it backfires. That’s right, he tries to return the silver like it’s a pair of slacks from Walmart. The priests are like, “Sorry, store credit only,” so they buy a field and name it “The Field of Blood.” Betcha didn’t see that comin’! Next: 2) Peter cuts off a guy’s ear, and Jesus puts it back on like he’s Mr. Potato Head. Peter’s like, “I’m protecting you,” and Jesus is like, “Sit down, Peter. Dude, you’re actively making this worse by the minute!” And 3) can we talk, just for a second, about the fact that, in the middle of all this chaos, there’s a streaker? That’s right. Mark’s Gospel casually mentions a young man, possibly Mark himself, who was following Jesus, then ran off naked like a fan at a Bengals game, when the guards grabbed for him. Where precisely they grabbed him, we don’t know. But it was enough to make him take off running! What was his plan exactly? And why was he wrapped in a linen sheet like someone’s mom caught him sneaking snacks after bedtime? Hilarious! Seriously, y’all, one minute Jesus is being arrested, the next minute some kid is booking it through the olive grove, moon out, olives shriveled, dignity gone. And, 4) what about the fact that, leading up to this, the disciples kept falling asleep? Like, that has to hold the Guinness Book of World Records spot for the world’s most ill-timed nap. There’s also, 5) Simon of Cyrene. This guy, perhaps a relative of Mark’s, gets pulled from the crowd and forced to carry the cross. I mean, this guy probably just wanted to grab a quick kebab before a long shabbat and now he’s part of the gospel story forever. Crazy how that happens! Then there are 6) the guards at the tomb. These guys post up like Jesus is going to sneak out in the middle of the night wearing a hoodie. You just want to tell them, “Ehemm. Umm, sirs, gentlemen, the man raises people from the dead. Your spear won’t stop him. Go on, go home now. Nothing to see here!” I don’t know about you, but when I read these things, it’s as if even the Bible needed some moments of absurd comedy in the middle of this great cosmic tragedy. It needed to prove to us that, even when everything’s messed-up and falling apart, God still knows how to keep it interesting. God knows how to find the funny in it. I know today is meant to be somber. I have preached many Good Friday sermons in my years. I get it. I totally get it. This year, I won’t be in a pulpit. This space right here is my pulpit. But I know it should be a somber day. At our church this evening, they’re showing The Passion, which will lead into a 36-hour fast. So yes, I get the be still aspect. I think it’s appropriate to quietly reflect. Grieving is a healthy reaction. But also, don’t miss the irony. And don’t be afraid to laugh. Because the God who invented joy didn’t skip over it with this part of the story. So you shouldn’t either. No, he let funny leak through the cracks. Even in the pain, even in the blood, even in the death, there are a handful of divine winks. God’s story might be told with a whisper, but it’s still part of the setup. And with every setup, there’s an impending punchline. And this setup wasn’t the end, my friends, it was just the beginning. So please, hear me on this: On the first Good Friday, the worst thing wasn’t the final thing. The cross wasn’t the finish line; nah, it was the setup for the ultimate punchline. And that, that’s why Good Friday, as strange as it may be, isn’t just good, it’s everything.

Any teachers / educators out there who can relate? Thankfully, the end of the semester is in sight.

Almost end of semester. Who can relate?

When your boss, in front of cameras, starts name-calling.

NEW VIDEO…Rest In Peace Charlie 🙏🏻❤️

"Friends, it’s as if we’ve forgotten how to mourn without first virtue signaling. We’ve forgotten how to grieve without first putting on display our moral superiority. It’s no longer enough to be sad. We also feel the need to curate our emotions in a way that socially distances us from the deceased. It’s bizarre. And, even more, it’s exhausting. There is a time for everything, as Ecclesiastes reminds us. A time to laugh and a time to cry. There is a time for critique and commentary. But the fact that some people can’t honor a lost life without editorializing, well, that says more about them than it does about the person who died. I’ve already started muting, blocking, unfriending, and leaving groups. I’ve blocked more people in the last 24 hours than I have in the last 25 years. Why? Because I want no part in a culture of death that claims the moral high ground while standing on someone’s grave. People think they have the upper hand...." | Link To Full Story: michaelhalcomb.live/p/grave-…

RIP Charlie Kirk, you were a brilliant and courageous man!

WEST TEXAS - In a bold leap for womankind and an even bolder leap for Instagram engagement, Katy Perry joined Blue Origin’s kinda historic all-female space mission this week, traveling 62 miles up to touch the edge of space, and also the edge of reason. The flight lasted 11 minutes, which is exactly how long it took Twitter to split into warring factions of “Yas Queen” and “Tax the Rockets.” Perry sang “What a Wonderful World” while floating next to a daisy, because apparently the universe wasn’t cringey enough already. Oprah endorsed it, Monse designed a custom space suit, and somewhere, a progressive PhD in astrophysics wept into her unsponsored lab coat. Inspired by the groundbreaking achievement of rich women doing zero-gravity somersaults, America is now considering crowd-funding seats for AOC and Jasmine Crockett, less for empowerment, more for peace and quiet here on Earth. Supporters praised the mission’s symbolism, while critics noted it cost millions to replicate what rollercoasters and helium already do for free. The playlist included Bowie and Minaj, because nothing screams scientific advancement like “Super Bass” at 3,500 mph. At press time, NASA was studying how the flight impacted Perry’s ability to write songs about fireworks, love, and launching herself even further from reality.

Any chance we can launch Jasmine Crockett and AOC into space with Katy Perry and crew? Asking for a friend.

House Church (Ep. 1) | 8 Christians. 1 House. Almost 0 Spiritual Maturity. What could go wrong? This is "House Church." Animated comedic shorts, 30-60-seconds long. Season 1 follows the group as they talk about a potential mission trip.

Introducing a little project I've been cooking up. A new animated shorts series titled "House Church." First episode drops tomorrow. Here's the trailer.

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Senator Cory Booker spoke on the Senate floor for nearly 24 hours straight recently, a feat that left even C-SPAN interns begging for censorship. True to liberal form, the same party that effectually coined the term “hate speech” and tried banning words like “mother” and “freedom,” have flipped and are now demanding unlimited speech rights, but only when they’re the ones doing the talking. One exhausted aide whispered, “I guess this proves free speech should exist; so we can all tell him to shut up!” Booker’s monologue reportedly covered civil rights, climate change, 8th grade poetry he found in a drawer, and an interpretive reading of his Whole Foods receipt. The same people who once tried to ban comedians for making edgy jokes are now applauding a filibuster that feels like watching a TED Talk held hostage by a theater kid with a political science degree. Booker ended hour 23 by applauding himself for finding the strength to keep going, while fellow Democrats drafted emergency legislation redefining “speech” as sacred, as long as it’s emotion-drenched, self-congratulatory, and has the words “diversity,” “equity,” and “inclusion” shouted every third sentence. When asked if this was hypocritical, one Democrat said, “Umm, let me check and see if we’re still allowed to say that word.”

LOS ANGELES—In the most aggressively self-defeating protest since punching themselves in the face became performance art and duct-taping bananas to walls became boujee, liberals across the country are now filming themselves selling their Teslas in a bold attempt to cancel Elon Musk. The videos usually start with a self-aggrandizing announcement, have an over-the-top goodbye, and close with a diesel-fueled tow truck sputtering off in a cloud of gas to prove how much they love the environment. “I just can’t support a man who believes in free speech,” said one Tesla owner seconds after smearing his personal butt sweat on the door handle then tweeting “love is love is love” from his iPhone. Many contend, “That’ll show Elon!” as they single-handedly boost used car sales and give Tesla free publicity all over social media. Analysts have confirmed the stunt is actually stimulating the very capitalist machine they claim to hate. “They bought the car, now they’re selling the car, and someone else is buying the car; it’s almost like... commerce?” one economist said, visibly shocked. At press time, liberals were seen picketing outside a charging station holding signs that read “DOWN WITH CLEAN ENERGY” while standing alongside their newest pseudo-science spokesman, Bill Nye, whom they have chosen to replace their old one, Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Dolphins (left lower corner) join humans in welcoming NASA astronauts back to Earth via SpaceX help. @elonmusk

After 9 months in space, 2 NASA astronauts are expected to return to Earth today. Meanwhile, Democrats are expected to remain in orbit for years.

WASHINGTON, D.C.—In what experts are calling the loudest diplomatic meeting in history, UFC fighter Conor McGregor met with President Donald Trump at the White House on St. Patrick’s Day to discuss an issue closer to his heart than even his love for himself: illegal immigration in Ireland. “These politicians let anyone in, no questions asked!” McGregor ranted. “Where’s the paperwork? Where’s the vetting? WHERE’S ME PROPER TWELVE?” Trump, nodding approvingly, responded, “It’s a disgrace. Just terrible. The worst. The Irish have fought for everything: potatoes, whiskey, and shoes with huge buckles. Now they have to fight for their own country?” McGregor interrupted shouting, “Make Leprechauns Great Again!” McGregor, wearing a shamrock-green suit and a tie that looked like it had been through five rounds with Khabib, warned Trump that Ireland was turning into “California with more rain.” He cited Rosie O’Donnell’s recent move there as proof that immigration policies had gone too far. “First, it’s illegal migrants, now it’s Rosie. This is worse than a 3-leaf clover! Next, they’ll be handing out pots of gold at the border,” he fumed. He then vowed to put illegal immigration in a guillotine choke until it “taps out like Dustin Poirier.” A White House aide offered him water, at which point McGregor threw a chair and shouted, “I’d rather survive another potato famine than drink that Protestant nonsense.” McGregor insisted that all migrants to Ireland should be required to take a “toughness test” inside a pub, refereed by a panel of red-haired Catholic grandmothers who “don’t take lip from anyone.”

The Cincinnati Bengals have agreed to a $161 million extension with Ja’Marr Chase and a $115 million extension with Tee Higgins. After locking down these 4-year commitments, Cincinnati said it hopes to build on its longstanding tradition of losing early playoff games.

Imagine if the unborn had the same lobbying power as foreign aid programs—liberals marching and demanding we "do something" to save and protect them.

JUST IN: SAN FRANCISCO—After months of Elon Musk exposing government corruption, liberals have finally had enough of all the honesty already. In retaliation against government transparency, probably many of the same actors who formed Antifa and BLM and are funded by some of the wealthiest leftists ideologues in the world, are launching a full-scale attack on all things Musk-owned, including Cybertrucks, Teslas, and X (formerly Twitter). Critics say Musk’s real crime isn’t his electric vehicles or rocket launches—it’s allowing people to say things without permission and make memes. “If we don’t control the narrative, democracy dies,” said one anonymous source from an unmarked government agency. “And by democracy, we really just mean us never getting caught.” In a stunning act of retaliation, left-wing activists incapable of recognizing irony have reportedly declared Teslas to be ‘radicalized vehicles’ and are demanding they be banned from roads, citing concerns that their autopilot might accidentally drive someone somewhere to have a free-thinking conversation with someone else. Meanwhile, sources say liberal millionaires and billionaires are resorting to their favorite cost-effective strategy: paying people to act like terrorists. “Legal fees are expensive,” admitted one insider. “But hiring a mob with masks and fireworks? Way cheaper.” That same insider reported, “Liberals will pay top dollar to fight for their corruption to stay hidden, and they will do it with the same vigor they fight for drag shows in elementary schools. They will protest violently for Palestine just to make America look like Palestine. They will fight tooth and nail for their right to contradict themselves at every possible turn.” At press time, Cybertruck owners were advised to check for activists using liberal logic who glued themselves to Cybertruck windshields in protest and then cried because they realized they were stuck to the very thing they claimed to hate.