Joined January 2009
- Tweets 9,408
- Following 846
- Followers 270
- Likes 1,330
217 Photos and videos
17 Aug 2023
Still friends with two of my best friends form HS.
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17 Jul 2023
Not even a little bit, so I just assume they're all being nice/friendly.
17 Jul 2023
Legit question for the men: can you differentiate between someone flirting vs being nice/friendly to you?
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12 Jul 2023
So far, the worst thing about divorce has been needing to find people to do things with. Taking care of the kids alone? nbd. Taking care of the house? nbd. Want someone to go to a concert with me? Everyone is busy.
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16 May 2023
Anyone on here either provide or contracted for IR tabletop exercises lately? I'm curious what people are paying (either in dollars, or hours) for a non-custom 4 hour management exercise...
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27 Mar 2023
Gotta love when you're called on to explain estimates on a call that you did not make, were never consulted on, and have never seen before.
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20 Feb 2023
Just got my first ever complimentary seat upgrade... Shame it's for a less than 2 hour flight with no food service, but I'll take it...
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17 Jan 2023
Oh man, I just realized I lost a lot of money I invested. It's still mine, still worth the same, I just can't remember where I invested it...
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14 Jan 2023
This confirms that it's a parody account, right?
13 Jan 2023
I was at a bodega this morning when I saw a small boy ask his mother for some candy.
As I saw her hand reach for a package of M&Ms, I cried out and left my place in line to stop her.
Once I informed her M&Ms had gone woke, she thanked me profusely and opted for a Twix instead.
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1 Jan 2023
Twitter has ads for sound suppressors on it now. Aka, gun silencers... This is gonna get interesting...
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30 Dec 2022
Where is the black market when you need it?
29 Dec 2022
Sorry, product is not FDA approved. It has selftest CE mark so we ship within Europe. Hopefully, since this tweet went viral, the FDA starts validating these tests, and people in the US can use this too!
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24 Dec 2022
And yet I've been more excited for this movie than I have anything in the theaters...
23 Dec 2022
Netflix spending half a billion on the KNIVES OUT sequel, refusing to give it a wide theatrical release despite immediate and proven success in that form, and then barely promoting the movie once it's finally actually out on Netflix is the most on-brand thing in the world.
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14 Dec 2022
Ngl, it still creeps me out when I do a Google search for something odd, and then start getting physical ads for that product mailed to my house.
17 Nov 2022
Absolutely hilarious interaction with Dell just now. Account Custodian calls in to remove himself and transfer the account to someone else. He then gives them the new custodians phone number. "I'm sorry, only the account Custodian can make changes to the account."
15 Nov 2022
Mimecast: great idea, let's make our support page the absolute only way to initiate a support ticket!
Also Mimecast: our support page is down and we dngaf. If you wanted service you should have been renewing a contract.
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25 Oct 2022
Ok, looking at getting a new phone. I'm between an upgraded Galaxy, or going back to iPhone... Any opinions? Anyone made that switch recently?
18 Oct 2022
The more anxious a potential employer is for you to start ASAP, the less prepared they will be for you to actually start.... If they want you immediately, expect to sit around for at least a day doing nothing.
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21 Sep 2022
Two weeks ago I got some splunk socks at re:Inforce. I just put them on an hour ago for the first time, and within minutes had received an email with a subject "thanks for your interest in Splunk!"
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29 Aug 2022
Wow, the only way that could get better is if it came with sex! I wonder what a polycule is anyway...
Infosec Charlatan retweeted
28 Aug 2022
Today at @cranebeachmass my 9-year-old daughter nearly drowned while I was watching her, in full view of two life guard stations, on an uncrowded and overcast day. Drowning doesn’t look like drowning, and I hope a lot of people read this and remember the signs. 🧵
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