🎃🎃🎃🎃 #SanAntonio #CoffinShelf #HandCrafted #HandPainted

I turned my back on other people for you. You turned your back on me for other people. We are not the same.

I just saw the kid rock video from the day of the rally incident. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Yikes.

Upcycled a Cabbage Patch Kid into a proper Garbage Pail Kid. I'm proud to present Grim Jim riding on his pale rocking horse with his plushy scythe. #GPK #upcycle #cpk

Sometimes violence IS the answer.

Bad debates happen when you have bad candidates. Fuck 'em both. I refuse to vote for either of them.

Screaming out "Super Duper" like Peter Boyle in Young Frankenstein.

Latest Jen-uine piece up for grabs. This and plenty of other upcycled cuties ready for new homes.

I asked Michael, "If we had to go on the run, what would you change your name to?" And he answered with a name so absurd it's actually painful that I can't share it, you know, just in case.

My first biological child is now officially a Senior in H.S. and my little girl is a Junior. Holy. Moly.

Recipe for Hate Ingredients: - 2 cups of Prejudice - 1 tablespoon of Intolerance - 3 teaspoons of Resentment - 1/2 cup of Jealousy - 1/4 cup of Bitterness - 2 sticks of Self-righteousness (softened) - 1 pint of Paranoia - 1 cup of Division (finely chopped) - 2 tablespoons of Malice - 1 pinch of Ignorance Instructions: 1. Preheat your environment to a heated debate (around 400°F of Anger should do). 2. In a large bowl, mix 2 cups of Prejudice with 1 tablespoon of Intolerance until well combined. The mixture should appear quite lumpy and unappealing. 3. Slowly fold in 3 teaspoons of Resentment, ensuring it permeates throughout the mixture, followed by 1/2 cup of Jealousy. This will add a nice greenish tinge to your batter. 4. Cream 2 sticks of Self-righteousness until fluffy, then gradually blend into the main mixture. Be careful not to over-mix, as it can become too rigid and inflexible. 5. Pour in 1 pint of Paranoia and stir vigorously until it froths. This is crucial for achieving the perfect texture of distrust. 6. Gently mix in 1 cup of finely chopped Division. The pieces should be small enough to spread evenly, creating a lovely marbled effect of discord. 7. Add 2 tablespoons of Malice for a sharp kick, balancing the flavors of discontent and spite. 8. Finally, sprinkle a pinch of Ignorance over the top. This will help the mixture rise uncontrollably, often spilling over and making a big mess. 9. Pour the batter into a greased and contentious pan. Bake in the preheated environment until it bubbles and cracks (approximately 30-45 minutes of heated arguments). 10. Let cool in a cold shoulder setting before serving. Enjoy your Recipe for Hate responsibly! Remember, too much of it can leave a bitter taste in everyone's mouth.

Who do I complain to about IF? @johnkrasinski @VancityReynolds you motherfuckers have had me crying for 2 hours. Not cool, you guys. Not. Cool. ❤️

Wearing this shirt to @TBSOfficial show tonight in San Antonio. Big thanks to @rejectedjokes for the constant inspiration. #jeanralphio

Tonight at @ggsemporium

42. 🤣🤣🤣🤣

Drunk. 42. Fml.

Why do people have to make shit harder than it needs to be?

Bus stop smells extra pissy today.