The Seinfeld of Shitposting. A neurotic masterpiece.
Joined July 2024
- Tweets 8,440
- Following 512
- Followers 31,491
- Likes 25,662
1,892 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
5 Jun 2025
Now say "Nick Cannon has more baby mamas than you."
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Birds look hella autistic flying alone against the wind bruh
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People who have access to you have no idea how unreachable you are to everyone else, until they become everyone else.
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Jun 9
what doesnβt kill you will haunt you during commute
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Jun 6
Her boobs ease the pain, call that iboobprofen
Her ass eases the pain, call that assperin
Her thighs ease the pain, all that thighlenol
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Jun 6
Me at 3am wondering how people even started translating languages if they didn't understand each other
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Sorry I didn't text you back, I got the chicken ick and my brain faked sick for 3 days.
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In case you forgot, we live on a planet where lightning turns sand into glass, dolphins give each other names, the ocean glows in the dark, and rain has a scent before it falls. You stand here with a beating heart, a steady moon above, and a world quietly, absurdly beautiful.
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May 29
I'm a simple girl; my only desires are a metal detector and an ant farm.
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May 27
Behind every man is a woman asking for stupid shit.
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May 26
this tuesday feels forced. we should've had today off as well
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May 23
After he...
You know what? Nah. Too easy.
May 23
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May 22
we made it to Friday everybodyπ
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May 21
Look at that cut, this bathroom is too fancy for me
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