Emergency Medicine Physician | Father | Husband | Tweets ≠ medical advice
Joined June 2019
- Tweets 11,523
- Following 362
- Followers 11,578
- Likes 21,286
2,017 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
9 Jul 2019
Patient: doc, I need something to help me stay awake
Doctor: take two of these and call me in the morning
Patient: but these...aren't these your kids?
Doctor: trust me, I'm a doctor.
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Jun 13
There are two wolves inside you.
One that wants to keep climbing the professional ladder to financial success, & the other wants to take his family off grid completely, move into a cabin in an undisclosed location, live off the land, & never encounter civilized society again
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Jun 12
Waiting for the neurologist to look impressed after I used “dysdiadochokinesia” appropriately in a sentence
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Jun 11
High key, as a doctor, if you’re not physicianmaxxing and qualitycaremogging on the daily, you lack all the rizz. No cap
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Jun 10
The value of a doctor’s medical training does not come from the prestige of his or her training program.
Jun 10
Good morning, MedTwitter.
What's one thing about being a doctor that the public gets completely wrong?
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Jun 10
Emergency Medicine has great camaraderie through common experiences (boarders, tough cases, mistakes, great saves, etc.), but every EM doc has a few cases completely unique to them. I’m talking once in a lifetime zebras, the funny cases, the wild scenarios, the truly unbelievable
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Jun 10
We all have a backlog of cases to pull from when asked, “what’s the craziest thing you’ve ever seen?”
All this to say, I think these cases are what really make EM special. We all have these wild cases that will never be replicated or repeated.
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Jun 9
The fresh, excited med student with their burnt out attending
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Jun 9
The Loopty-Doop Yoinkectomy
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Jun 8
Already! I didn’t realize it’s already National Thank a CT Scanner Day for EM doctors
Jun 8
Today is National Best Friends Day
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Jun 7
This is diabolical
Jun 5
One minute you're laughing and then you remember your STEP exam is coming up and now nothing is funny.
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Glen O'Humeral retweeted
Jun 5
Have you tried several gentle pats on the back while cradled over a loved one’s shoulder?
— a baby doctor offering remedies for a patient’s indigestion
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May 26
[court room]
Prosecution: so, ladies and gentlemen of the jury, it must have been the unsterilized surgical tools from his hat that led to my client’s infection and ultimate demise after the operation.
Inspector Gadget’s lawyer: OBJECTION!
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May 21
If you’re in medicine, your rapper name is “Lil’” followed by the last procedure you performed.
Mine is Lil’ Paracentesis
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May 20
People who drink their OJ without pulp fail intubations more often than those who drink it with pulp
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May 16
He is 10 minutes from the end of his already crazy busy shift. Give him a polytrauma and at least 1 trauma code.
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May 15
As hospital medicine attendings, if you’re not showing up to rounds with one of these bad boys and enough straws for the whole team, you’re doing it wrong
Dunkin' is now launching its viral 48-ounce drink bucket nationwide
The bucket can be filled with iced coffee, iced lattes, and Refreshers
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May 15
Since laughter is the best medicine, we really should find a way to encapsulate it and sell it as a pill.
Obviously we would call it Laughophed
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May 11
If an ophthalmologist is an eye dentist, does that mean the normal dentist is a tooth ophthalmologist?
I need answers, @DGlaucomflecken
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