Eager to pitch in, as long as the pay is good. (OCRP, NSFW, no minors at all. 29yo, not a real intern and simply a parody!)
Joined April 2026
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- Followers 63
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Greetings!
I’m Hazel Blackthorne, intern extraordinaire, and I’m looking to work for you! Give me any job, anywhere, any time, and I will be there!
Don’t mind that growling gut you’re hearing, that’s just…how hungry I am to meet your approval!
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Why is it the afternoons are always more efficient than the mornings?
Thats simple! Digestion! Coffee fuelled mornings are more manic than productive.
Remember, a happy workforce is a fed workforce! And the happiest are the ones being fed on!
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I’ve had some bad bosses in my time, but I always make sure to stay on the right side of them!
Can you imagine? I know I get ravenous in the office so I’d hate to make management lose their temper!
Still, I’ve learned some wonderful lessons from them!
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Hazel Blackthorne, Starving Intern retweeted
GEHEHEHEHEHEHHEEHEHEHEHEHEHHEEHEHHEHEH
Its hot out there nerds…
Dont get overwhelmed
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I don’t think I made a greeeaaat impression with the other staff today, but that’s ok!
The perks of being an intern is manoeuvrability!
There’s always another office!
With another cute secretary pool to boot!
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You sound just like my manager!
Well, some of my managers at least. I took their fevered hungry rants as a sort of instruction to take into new jobs!
You’re an inspiration to all us low paid workers! Especially the ones you mulch!
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I need more of you to pad me out
GET TURNED INTO A LARGE GOOPY WALL STAIN
GET TURNED INTO BUTT FAT
GET TURNED INTO BOOB FAT
FEED ME TO MAKE THE BOTH OF US FEEL FUFILLED
#PredPosting #Greed #VeryHungry #ProfilePlay #Perma
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Interning at a major corporation gives me the chance to prove myself! Especially when I’m doing the work of three people.
If that means I have to swallow those three people in order to perform, you’d better believe I will!
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Oh dear! It would seem I’ve been labelled by X! According to them, I’ve been a bad intern!
Well that’s not exactly what they said, but still!
I hope this doesn’t impact my CV…
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Being an intern isn’t all bad! The pay is non existent, it’s long hours, always the first in and the last to leave but there are perks!
Managers are really gentle and sometimes give me time off if I kiss them just right!
Not to mention being able to network with cute morsels!
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Boy oh boy am I glad you all like me as an intern! But if possible, could you maaaybe consider taking me on in a full time position?
This whole being an intern thing was supposed to be temporary!
If you need any staff cutting…I could help them ‘move on’!
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Oh gosh, thank you! The boss here said it was mandatory, something about being nice to look at when I’m fixing the water cooler…
“Yeah I can offer that for ya plus um ngl nice pantyhose” Orion blushed looking at Hazel pantyhose
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Ooooo I guess usually I’d do that, and I’m really sorry about this, but like…I’ve only got a few minutes left before I’m due back at my desk.
And you’re right here.
Like, you’re right in front of me and all tasty looking and stuff.
Man, this is hard…
[He stared at her, not sure how to respond. Now it was clear, he had not misheard her. Clearing his throat, he steps back now, far enough that he wouldn't get snapped up. He hoped.]
Ah sorry then, unfortunately I'm not on the menu. You'll have to snap up someone else, Hazel...
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Ah, freedom at last! Nothing better for an unpaid office assistant than letting my hair down and hitting the town!
Uh oh. My wallet is empty.
And so is my stomach.
Oh man…
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Oh, uh…this is awkward, usually I’m the one following orders and not giving them! And I just sort of explicitly said I wanted to eat you so, I guess, no sauce?
I-... Sorry?
[A few blinks and he tilts his head, staring into Hazel's eyes deeply confused. He simply must have misheard her. Shaking his head, he laughed and stepped closer to her.]
Of course, whatever will satisfy you. Now how do you want this meal prepared? Sauces?
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Make, make…oh, you mean like cooking?
I prefer my lunch a little fresher, like…well anyway, if you’re offering how can I refuse? First rule of interning, never say no to a free lunch!
“If it helps I can make some lunch for ya and we can hang out” Orion said
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You’re lucky!
The mangers at the past five jobs I got all said I had to stay in the building during lunch! And the office cafeteria always sucks…
“Usual there’s Probaly cafe or restaurant to get a quick meal but mostly I hand make mine so I don’t spend alot”
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Hmm…that’s tricky!
I mean, fox wouldn’t go amiss! Tiny little bones and all squirmy and flighty…oh that would be wonderful!
Strange office lingo Hazel... But just this once I'm willing to help out.
[The fox's tails danced around while he nodded, slight grin on his face.]
So, what are you hungry for? What do you wanna eat more than anything right now?
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Hazel Blackthorne, Starving Intern retweeted
“Interns are precious. So much to learn in such little time, and nobody to miss them when they quickly…vanish.”
The lunch hour is only an hour long? But…but…how am I supposed to find a willing meal that quickly!?
You guys bring packed lunches? That’s a bit cruel. I like my meals free range!
What am I talking about? Uh, you know, just some office lingo I picked up, totally normal!
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The lunch hour is only an hour long? But…but…how am I supposed to find a willing meal that quickly!?
You guys bring packed lunches? That’s a bit cruel. I like my meals free range!
What am I talking about? Uh, you know, just some office lingo I picked up, totally normal!
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It will take some time to get organised here, but that’s what interns are for! They’re for merciless coffee runs, printer repair, stock taking, stock eating, stock covering up, etc.
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Greetings!
I’m Hazel Blackthorne, intern extraordinaire, and I’m looking to work for you! Give me any job, anywhere, any time, and I will be there!
Don’t mind that growling gut you’re hearing, that’s just…how hungry I am to meet your approval!
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More details to follow but feel free to interact! DMs are open for all!
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