Author of "The Pouty Cow Goes Moue" tweet that got over 28 views worldwide.
Joined July 2009
- Tweets 93,120
- Following 511
- Followers 4,034
- Likes 29,960
8,543 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
5 Sep 2025
My latest song, "No Thought for the Morrow", is out now on most streaming platforms.
Please share with your friends!
music.youtube.com/watch?v=Pf…
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Nope. Those are delicious too.
As is black licorice and candy corn.
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*cracks knuckles*
Time to use my Community Notes power!
(These are the best candies, right next to banana Laffy Taffy)
Jun 12
The worst candy in the history of mankind is the Runts banana.
There is nothing that comes close.
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Ah, a fellow traveller!
As someone who literally sits at home all day - there’s Twitter.
And I don’t even have to put on pants.
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The number of people complaining about Elon being a trillionaire on a platform that makes Elon money every time you post is irony so dense it has a noticeable gravitational pull.
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Jun 13
Took my youngest to see Backrooms last night.
It wasn't scary per se but rather disconcerting and disquieting.
Which was exactly how it was supposed to be. My daughter and I enjoyed it very much.
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Jun 13
We literally had shag carpet (very similar to this image) in the bathroom.
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Jun 12
In Florida, we call this "Summertime, around 5:00"
10 minutes later, it's sunny.
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Jun 12
The photo I use for my wife on my phone is her (jokingly) threatening me with a kitchen knife.
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Jun 12
Good news. Tim flew off on his own accord and no longer requires my services.
Probably for the best.
Jun 12
I love birds, but I have no idea how to care for a baby wren.
But I can't just say 'no' either.
*sigh*
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Jun 12
After watching this, I am going to need to have my boxers surgically removed.
Jun 12
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Jun 12
Our company—like many others—is trying to cut their AI costs. The CEO just sent a message to everyone asking if we can cut out our ChatGPT licenses since we all have Claude as well but if anyone has a legitimate reason, they can make an accomidation
I responded with "I think the results speak for themselves."
In other news, HR has scheduled me for yet *another* meeting.
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Jun 12
My CEO just sent me this in Slack because according to him, I'm filed under "Guitar and bird crossover content" in his brain.
The sad thing is I could have identified all the birds by sound, easily.
instagram.com/reel/DZbSbSWSD…
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Jun 12
Well.... NOW I HAVE THE WANTS
Jun 12
i framed a colorful e ink on my wall to display a collage of any birds that have passed by my window today
ALT theodore.net/projects/AvianVisitors
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Jun 12
Really weird watching people who would not lift a finger to help a homeless person unless the gov't forced them to argue that wealthy people should be personally taking care of the problem instead.
*shrug*
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Jun 12
I love birds, but I have no idea how to care for a baby wren.
But I can't just say 'no' either.
*sigh*
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Jun 12
Well, it's coming home and apparently already has a name.
Timothy aka Tiny Tim.
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Jun 12
One of my favorite songs by @lukhash is Chiptune Rush, because the intro feels like an homage to Knight Rider
music.youtube.com/watch?v=il…
Jun 12
Kids today will never understand how hard the Knight Rider intro went🚘
That theme still hits different.
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Jun 12
If my dad was reading a book back in the 80s, it was a Mack Bolan book.
He loved those.
There was a genre of post Vietnam era military adventure pulp that used to be ubiquitous in libraries and bookstores when I was a younger. <200 page novels about special operators in exotic Cold War hot spots on the hunt for treasure and glory. I used to love reading these.
Totally gone now. Men/boys didn’t just stop being interested in this kind of stuff. I’ve never heard a good theory of what happened to the publishing industry to make this kind of product disappear from the mainstream market. It’s like we all just opened our eyes in 2010 and we were …*here.*
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Jun 12
My first cat, back in the 90s, was named Hudson.
My dog (now) is named Ripley.
I might love this movie a little too much.
Jun 11
Every line Bill Paxton delivers in Aliens (1986) is instantly memorable. Hudson practically becomes the movie’s panic button.
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Jun 12
Just past noon and not a single coworker of mine has wished me a Happy Birthday today.
I mean, it's not my birthday, but that still just seems rude.
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