Musician. Thinker. Appreciator. Occasional Mime.
Joined March 2009
- Tweets 299
- Following 138
- Followers 19
- Likes 149
Photos and videos
30 Jan 2019
Polar Vortex sounds like that old rollercoaster at an amusement park that has no line so they just let you keep riding it and it’s only like half full. #PolarVortex2019
18 Jan 2019
When you’re at an establishment and the friend you’re with sees a friend he knows and introduces you to him and the guy gives you the dead fish handshake paired with a searing stink eye and you realize that he already hates you and everything is meaningless.
20 Nov 2018
That was the greatest American Football game I’ve ever seen. #KCvsLAR #MondayNightFootball
7 Nov 2018
Breaking News: No matter what happens tonight, literally half of the country will be filled with rage tomorrow.
In other news, I started listening to Christmas music today. #ElectionNight #MidtermElection2018
24 Jul 2018
You don’t buy the salmon-colored shorts if you think you can pull them off. You buy them if you KNOW you can pull them off. Sigh. Maybe next time, guys. #targetouttahere
2 Apr 2018
At this point, the phrase “from the creators of Lost” is nothing more than a mere factual statement. #yourshowsucks
5 Mar 2018
Luke Skywalker just handed an Oscar to Kobe Bryant. What a time to be alive. #Oscars90 #DearBasketball
9 Feb 2018
Friends and family of American Olympians competing in Pyeongchang: “You did great tomorrow!” #2018Olympics
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15 Jan 2018
“Diet starts tomorrow,” the man said. Every Sunday night. For the rest of his life.
29 Sep 2017
The Packers sideline is starting to look like a bad episode of ER. #whatgives #everythingapparently
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26 Sep 2017
Tootsie Pop has been running the same ad for nearly 50 years and it still kills EVERY TIME. #tootsiepop #mrowl #wemayneverknow
10 Sep 2017
Well, Martellus Bennett will never have to buy a drink in Green Bay ever again. #SEAvsGB #Packers #thatsmyquarterback
8 Jul 2017
In hindsight, I'm pretty sure the "bullies" in Karate Kid were actually psychopaths. #missedthatone #deadmeat #thekaratekid
Josh Dissmore retweeted
5 Mar 2017
One time a fan gifted me a jar of gummy vitamins but I thought they were regular gummies so I ate em all. My pee glowed like a lightsaber.
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8 Mar 2017
You know, sometimes Full House got deep. And when it got deep, it was actually really good television. #davecoulier got range.