All things Karen would disapprove ofš„³ As seen on Scary Mommy & Today Parents ā¤ļø IG@karen.disapproves
Joined July 2020
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12 Dec 2021
My husband just setup our Amazon account so he gets alerts every time there is a purchase. And let me just tell you, it is the most uncool fuggin thing since moms being able to listen in on ur conversation on a landline phone.
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26 Apr 2023
Anyone else miss when tables were 6 feet apart? The stuff my girlfriends and I talk about at dinner should NOT be overheard by the family next to us celebrating nanaās birthdayš
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23 Mar 2023
Whenever someone says āguess whatā, do you also involuntarily respond āchicken buttā or have you evolved passed 7 years old?
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My toddler shoved a slimy piece of candy in my mouth today and I ate itā¦ and I actually quite enjoyed it... wtf has become of me?
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14 Feb 2023
Pro Tip: Celebrate Valentineās Day a week later. Brenda hasnāt called dibs on your sitter, you can actually get a reservation, and chocolate is on sale š¤·āāļø
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I spend a lot of time on Zillow for someone who has no plans to buy a house in the near future.
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18 Jan 2023
2YO: I pet your eyes?
ME: You pet my whaā- ah fekkk š¤¬gawd damn %&@&š„“š¤¬š„“š¤¬
2YO:
ME:
2YO: Want pet eyes again?
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I figured out the best way to get your husband to get off the toilet quicker is by letting him hear you using his power tools outside the door.
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Alexa has this cool feature where if your kids have Baby Shark blasting at migraine level and you yell at it to turn the volume down, it automatically ignores you and turns it up even higher.
I figured out the best way to get your husband to get off the toilet quicker is by letting him hear you using his power tools outside the door.
12 Nov 2022
LADIES BEWARE OF THIS SCAM GOING AROUND: I ordered some expensive tools for my husband but Christmas decor showed up insteadā¦ š Be careful out there! This has happened twice this week.
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Husband has taken over with the kids while I hide in my room. Currently they are in that questionable phase of murder-screaming where Iām not sure if itās out of having fun or misery but imma have to trust in Lord Jesus coz Iām not coming out.
Was playing with my daughterās hair when she lovingly took my hand and used it to smear the snot from under her nose.
29 Apr 2022
I was walking out the bathroom and naturally turned the light offā¦ It was a public bathroomā¦ with multiple stalls. Just a little insight into who is the ādadā of the family.
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Normal Parents: Goodnight, Sweetie. I love you.
ME: Oooo! I gotta poop! I gotta POOOOP! Iāll be right back!
*and then I never come back*
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30 Mar 2022
I just said āGood heavens 7-11ā instead of my typical slew of profanities under my breath when my daughter refused to let me unbuckle her car seatā¦ thatās how I know my transition into role model parent is finally working.
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29 Mar 2022
U ever stand up too fast that u get lightheaded but ur in public and donāt wanna appear āpass-y out-yā so u just act like ur doing an awkward stretch and then u realize āHoly shit. Iād rather silently die than make things weird. ā Have u ever?
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22 Mar 2022
Note to self, u cannot wake up to sounds of the baby stirring at 3AM, scroll Fb āreal quickā, watch a click bait video of wild animal attacks, then expect to fall back to sleep with ease.
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20 Mar 2022
I get that Alexa is be spying on us but this conversation might be where I draw the line.
ME: OK, just be patient for 2 seconds! 5YO: Alexa, set timer for 2 seconds.
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20 Mar 2022
I know itās not possible to conveniently switch your brain off but I just listened to my son explain a video game level for 17 minutes and I swear I came close.
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19 Mar 2022
I wish that some day I can have as many ādonāt give a fuksā as my 4 yo who climbs in MY bed and tells ME that IāM taking up too much space.
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