I’m doing amazing, sweetie • she/her • as seen on buzzfeed that one time • Reese’s Goblin • wishlist: amazon.com/hz/wishlist/ls/2J…
Joined February 2015
- Tweets 53,311
- Following 1,913
- Followers 9,398
- Likes 246,291
3,555 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
Apr 20
I started my microplastics journey early by enjoying the mouthfeel of Barbie shoes
21
751
9,862
140,935
Jun 16
Uhh hi I’m your idiot neighbor and I’m going to set off fireworks in this neighborhood because I’m very stupid
4
3
44
1,478
Ok Kate retweeted
I don't persist because I'm brave, I persist because I am stupid.
1
10
618
Jun 11
When you’re doing an at-home sleep study and you turned into a space bounty hunter about to go into sleep mode
Thank you @RichieTJames, I love it so much! And if you do crimes, I’ll get you
1
20
243
Jun 11
As a society we haven’t talked enough about the Build-A-Bear font and how terrible it is
2
5
43
1,321
Ok Kate retweeted
12 May 2020
“see side panel for cooking instructions”
*flips box over*
*flips box over*
*flips box over*
*flips box over*
*flips box over*
*flips box over*
...
*flips box over*
9
63
223
Ok Kate retweeted
14 Dec 2022
Short people are so cute like, ok buddy good job
22
37
169
Ok Kate retweeted
15 Mar 2023
Gonna date a Flat Earther so they like my butt
20
44
231
10,053
Ok Kate retweeted
29 Jul 2019
Me, driving the getaway car:
*uses turn signal*
15
232
779
Ok Kate retweeted
26 May 2019
Tweets something I’m really proud of
Crickets
Tweets something that’s just ok
Crickets
How are all these crickets getting in here
Crickets
Please help there’s too many
Crickets
They’re carrying me somewhere
Crickets
Oh hi thanks for stopping them are you single
Crickets
11
71
324
Ok Kate retweeted
6 May 2021
Personally I like it when a man snores because it means he’s comfortable and sleeping and I can look through his wallet for cash
16
113
653
Ok Kate retweeted
29 Oct 2019
Cutting out the middle man and dating dopamine
3
44
108
Ok Kate retweeted
25 Apr 2022
My toxic trait is being convinced everyone is secretly talking about me, while also being convinced no one remembers that I exist at all
15
33
218
Ok Kate retweeted
1 May 2024
Please, somebody marry me and take me off my hands
44
529
4,124
150,735
Ok Kate retweeted
12 Jul 2021
Drive thru employee: hey I like your dress
Me: thanks, it’s a nightgown
11
66
264
Ok Kate retweeted
19 Jul 2023
His full name is Air Conditioning Slater
4
47
161
8,565
Jun 10
Doing the aunt thing where you send $14 to your nephew for his 14th birthday is kinda lame when $14 is basically 14¢ now
2
28
529
Jun 9
Me: I’m not feeling well
My mom: HELP ME TAKE CARE OF THIS BABY BIRD I FOUND
1
8
174
Jun 7
Threw up so hard my stomach muscles hurt two days later. Gonna call that exercise
7
2
22
467
Jun 5
Omg what if we kissed beneath the milky twilight and you led me out on the moonlit floor and lifted your open hand to strike up the band and make the fireflies dance in the silver moon's sparkling
4
1
13
317