Officer D. Getting Things Sorted with your average officer, on your average calls for service. Oh, and Kevin occasionally helps.
Joined April 2022
- Tweets 763
- Following 88
- Followers 42
- Likes 3,718
96 Photos and videos
28 Dec 2025
MFW I find fresh-baked brownieđ
But I'm in my hippie store with a guy that does shroom trialsđŠ
He tells me "don't worry, they're normal browniesđ
But in the 70s he did a lifetime supply of LSD and his normal is very different than mine
đ«
See you space cowboy
âOD
66
13 Dec 2025
One of my officers submitted a report the other day that said he stopped a "Christler 300" and searched it for drugs. I asked if this was the car he stopped.
âOD
P.S.: It was a Chrysler 300, so there were indeed drugs in there.
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16 Nov 2025
Yeah, so thats pretty much how the day is going. Read more about it here:
facebook.com/share/p/17K3UJmâŠ
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16 Nov 2025
RC: Hey officer, do you know anything about this event that doesn't involve you, me or anyone we know?
Me: Nope. But I would be careful trusting information on it because [uses 15 years of experience and BS in CJ to make an educated guess]
RC: Anyway, I don't believe you.
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14 Aug 2025
Do you have warrants? Do you insist on doing things the hard way? Do you want to go to jail tired? Then come run from my us! We'll take you tired, we'll take you sweaty. We'll take you sad & we'll take you salty. If you have paper, we'll handle it.
facebook.com/share/p/17BeRtKâŠ
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19 Mar 2025
When giving officers a fake name, make sure the person who's identity you are stealing is (a) real, (b) doesn't have warrants and (c) isn't dead. This is not legal advice, obviously, but it is entertaining.
facebook.com/kevinandod for more. #GettingThingsSorted #KevinAndOD
31
10 Sep 2024
Do you want to know how I ruined my uniform twice this weekend? Here ya go!
facebook.com/share/p/8F5chqXâŠ
Follow Kevin and me at facebook.com/kevinandod
--OD
#GettingThingsSorted #KevinAndOD #OfficerD
49
13 Jul 2024
"Hi. I have a room temperature IQ and my greatest accomplishment is providing extra carbon dioxide for the plants in my general vicinity. My name is Scott Steudler."
Call us if you need us; we'll be there. Even if you're a mouth breather like Scott here.
--OD
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39
16 Jun 2024
Happy Father's Day.
Remember kids: if you get arrested today, you'll be sitting in jail until the judge comes in on Tuesday. So when the officer tells you to carry your drunk keister back inside amd shut up, you should probably do that.
--OD
#KevinAndOD #HappyFathersDay
1
72
28 Apr 2024
Excerpt from my most recent post:
If she were to decide to throw-down WWF style in that store, it would have looked like Godzilla fighting a gender-confused and vertically challenged King Kong.
To read the rest of the story, Like Follow and SHARE at:
facebook.com/kevinandod
1
42
26 Apr 2024
I added Taylor Swift's flight tracker data from 2023, because the hypocrisy makes me giggle.
Want to read about more lies on the internet? Check out this week's episode of Getting Things Sorted at facebook.com/kevinandod
#MakeV8sGreatAgain #GettingThingsSorted
206
Officer D retweeted
24 Apr 2024
Hipocrisia, a gente se vĂȘ por aqui...
Taylor Swift, uma das principais ativistas contra as mudanças climåticas, e suas viagens em seus dois aviÔes particulares durante 2023.
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15 Feb 2024
They put a new style spotlight in my brand new car. It might be the coolest part of the car.
--OD
#KevinAndOD #ThatIsTooCool #EvilRobotOverlords #BoysAreEasyToShopFor #YesItMakesACoolWhirlingNoise
21
8 Feb 2024
As promised, the stickers are in. Left sticker is $8, right sticker is $10. If you'd like one, direct message me on Facebook or Instagram. Venmo & PayPal accepted, shipping via snail mail.
--OD
39
12 Dec 2023
I was just kidnapped by a group of people celebrating DĂa de la Virgen de Guadalupe. They would not let me leave until I accepted a couple of delicious tamales and some chocolate caliente. I accepted them with reluctance. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it.
--OD
61
25 Nov 2023
I was just offered a bribe. This is a felony, so I must destroy the evidence before charges are brought.
Donut is from Yee Haw Doughnuts; Kevin's vest is from friends at Active Threat Solutions.
Call us if you need us; we'll be there.
--OD
#CorpusDeliciti #NoBodyNoCrime
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38
22 Sep 2023
Kevin is putting some work in this weekend. He does not recognize the cyclones authority and will therefore be out causing mischief and mayhem.
--OD
#OfficerD #KevinAndOD #KevinIsInCharge #RespectHisAuthority
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