I spoke to a nice journalist about the #notacult I help run. I'm so proud of the Solo Armada and what we try to do. Please read and retweet. @solo_armada spotlightuk.co.uk/articles/2…

Of course, these days you can’t even say Christmas. I know I can’t. Klimpnush. See? Pathetic.

Hey there, Maiden fans! We want to hear YOUR story. How did you get into Maiden? What was your first album? Gig? What’s the best/daftest bit of memorabilia you’ve got? Tell us EVERYTHING here or email us at ironmaidenpubquiz@gmail.com #ironmaiden

Someone bought my audiobook tonight. Doesn’t happen often these days, so I’m all cosy it happened tonight. It’s a good audiobook (also the actual book is good). probably won’t start plugging it again, so this is my only advert for it now. Please buy it! michaellegge.bandcamp.com/al…

FACT: The majority of people in receipt of benefits are working Therefore, as a society we accept that hundreds of thousands of people don't earn enough to live on I want the companies who profit from their labour to pay them - not my taxes Increased minimum wage is essential.

Why? Does it get tangled in your fucking crown of thorns?

1/ The “evidence-based therapy” game—explained with 🥞 I have a pancake recipe. I do randomized controlled trials (RCTs) showing that people like my 🥞 better than getting no breakfast at all My🥞are now “evidence-based” & yours aren’t. I start telling everyone my🥞are superior

For the price of the booking fee of one Oasis ticket you could attend one gig here at £7-£10 for 3 bands, potentially "The Next Big Thing" and buy a beer for £3.50 Tell us again how live music is too expensive nowadays... 🙆🏻‍♀️🌝

Knowing my luck, I’ll sleep in and completely miss the Oasis gigs tickets going on sale and still get tickets.

.@kebhouze congrats your Oxford St branch are a bunch of assholes. I ordered & paid, no receipt printed, when my order turns up get accused of being a thief as I can't provide POP, get asked to show my bank details to prove the exact order that I can tell them what I've ordered.

Enjoy!

Dozens of local councillors became MPs for the first time on 4 July and there is no legal impediment to an MP continuing as a councillor, but it is generally not seen as possible to do both jobs properly at the same time. This posed no problem for the former Tory MP for Mansfield, Ben Bradley, who managed to combine the roles of MP and county council leader until 4 July, when he lost his seat and £91,346 salary. Happily he can still rely on the annual £55,233 he gets for being leader of Nottinghamshire county council. Over the last three years he has claimed a total of almost £440,000 from the public purse for being in two places at once.

Me, the whole week, to everything: "I'll do it at the weekend" Also me, all weekend:

Football’s got a second home.

John Oliver’s show has consistently been the best show on tv for the last ten years. I even got to be in the audience for an episode and it was magnificent. But this might be his masterpiece. Please do what he says.

I’ve always loved John Oliver but I swear to God this is perfection 🔥🔥🔥👇👇👇👇🔥🔥🔥🔥

I once had a client who was arrested because a copper thought he was about to throw Domestos at a vicar. He was arrested to prevent a bleach of the priest.

the room next door - Rishi Sunak and the Eye Roller

I spend a LOT of time representing people who are or were in the armed forces. I am not making any judgment on them - but I will say for certain - a lot of them are violent and have serious alcohol/drug problems. Whether they were like that anyway or the military made them so ?!

Yes. Pour it properly: make sure the glass is full, make sure the head isn’t too big and make sure the pint costs about £3 BECAUSE THAT’S HOW MUCH IT COSTS STOP PRETENDING IT DOESN’T.