when i was in college, my dad started sending me $20 every friday.
not every now and then.
every single friday.
always with the same message:
"for pizza."
i figured it was just one of those dad things.
sometimes i'd actually buy pizza.
sometimes i'd spend it on coffee or laundry or whatever broke college students spend money on.
this went on for almost four years.
after graduation i got a job, moved out, and the friday messages stopped.
a few years later i was home for the holidays and somehow the topic came up.
i laughed and asked him why he was so committed to funding my pizza habit.
he looked confused and said,
"what pizza habit?"
i reminded him about the money.
he just shrugged and said,
"oh. that wasn't for pizza."
apparently when he was in college, there were a bunch of weeks where he skipped meals because he didn't have enough money.
he never told anyone.
not even my mom.
he said he figured if the money was labeled "rent" or "groceries," i'd feel guilty taking it.
but nobody ever turns down pizza.
i don't know why that hit me so hard.
maybe because i never once needed that $20 for pizza.
but there were definitely weeks where i needed it for something.