I wanted to post this drawing because, even if it didn't serve it's original purpose, I think it still carries an important reminder
This drawing is dogshit, honestly. I scraped through this in like 15 minutes in a program I've never used, with half a second of input lag and windows ink fighting me every step of the way
More than anything, it humbled me
There are many things I still struggle with;
I'm too reliant on references
my poses are too static
it takes me days or even weeks of planning to even start a drawing
I can't do backgrounds
I can't draw men very well
faces and expressions still give me trouble
I can't draw anything mechanical to save my life
I don't do well under pressure or time limits
I can't render
I could keep going.
None of this is news to me. My other artist friends give me shit all the time for it, and they're not wrong
I am not an exceptional artist, I'm pretty mid actually. I've just do a small handful of things very quickly and efficiently
That doesn't make the work any less mine
Having blind spots, or the occassional dogshit drawing doesn't mean you're cheating, or a fraud, or that you've fallen off
You don't have to be producing your very best every time you pick up a pencil. If you're too scared of producing coal you'll never find a gem
You're allowed to be shit at things sometimes. In fact, stepping out of your comfort zone and producing work that falls flat is the best way to improve. The fear of being judged for not immediately excelling at something new is exactly what stops people from learning and growing
Don't let anyone tell you that your way of doing things is wrong just because it isn't the way they learned
A good drawing is not proof you're cheating, and a bad drawing is not proof you have something to hide. Some people will twist any piece of evidence you provide as proof you're hiding something. this is called a kafka trap and it isn't worth your time
Your job is to keep learning, keep improving, and keep making art, not to spend your life proving your authenticity for people who've already made up their minds about you and will shift the goalposts in whatever direction they feel makes you look the most guilty