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april (certified lesbian) @LewdApril

mostly smut and sex polls. coworkers enter at their own risk. DM’s are open. lesbian, she/her, athlete, 20 years HRT 🏳️‍⚧️. pfp by @furboz.

Joined June 2019
  • Tweets 4,600
  • Following 103
  • Followers 9,864
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april (certified lesbian)@LewdApril
15 Nov 2019
“This one,” asked Nissa. “No,” replied Chandra. “This one?” “No.” “You want… this one,” Nissa whispered incredulously. “Oh yes,” confirmed Chandra. “I call it the ‘decidedly male’,” Nissa confessed, strapping it on. “I-I know,” stammered Chandra, blushing furiously.
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long time no chat, but had a surprisingly interesting poll come up in my random chats on discord today. which smell do you enjoy more?
48% petrichor
52% pussy
297 votes • Final results
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2,383
and a follow-up to the previous poll: how do you feel about kissing after giving (or receiving) oral sex, assuming that fluids were involved in some way or another?
84% like it
8% don't like it
8% not applicable
502 votes • Final results
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10
24,431
i swear i’ve done this poll before, but for the life of me i cannot find it. have you ever tasted your own sexual fluids?
37% yes (and liked it)
26% yes (didn’t like it)
36% no
421 votes • Final results
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21,152
quick vibe check: have you ever heard of “leisure suit larry”
22% yes (and played them)
66% yes
12% no (jfc april is old)
542 votes • Final results
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28,594
between “come” and “cum,” which of the two do you prefer in fiction?
4% come
51% cum
44% come (verb) / cum (fluid)
1% other (comment below)
601 votes • Final results
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20
28,283
do i think the world would be a better place if more men got mani-pedis, feeling pretty and sparkly? yup. do i enjoy how they make me feel feminine, surrounded entirely by women feeling the same? also yup. would you have more be having more fun if things were less gendered?
85% yes
15% no
367 votes • Final results
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2
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31,628
for people who have boobs or who are with people who have boobs, which would more closely describe your (or their) "favorite" bra?
63% the most comfortable
11% the most sexy
26% don't have boobs around
274 votes • Final results
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27,569
for people who have boobs or who are with people who have boobs, how do you or they put bras on?
37% clasp behind back
30% clasp in front spin
8% some other method
26% don’t have boobs around
372 votes • Final results
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1
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24,120
supposed we lived in a world where people could easily swap bodies back and forth with other people. in such a world, would you be willing to swap bodies with your sexual partner and have sex with your original body?
76% yes
20% no
4% not applicable
619 votes • Final results
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21,215
supposed there existed a device — let's call it "mistress PC" — that could make instantaneous changes to somebody's mind and/or body. is there anybody you would trust with such a device to make changes to you?
61% yes
39% no
480 votes • Final results
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16,920
supposing you had access to a device that would let you swap bodies with someone else for a time, would you be willing to fuck the person who is currently inhabiting your original body?
71% yes
28% no
2% not applicable
578 votes • Final results
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14,527
my spouse really likes it when i make sexy orgasm sounds, so i’ve been working hard to be noisier even when i’m masturbating. it’s turning out to be surprisingly fun. do you make noise when you masturbate?
7% yes (a lot)
40% yes (a little)
53% no
607 votes • Final results
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13,154
realized i haven’t checked in over here recently, mostly because Twitter (not y’all but Twitter at large) bums me out these days. but hey as an incentive to follow smokestack.mom over on bluesky, here’s one photo from a photoset i posted over there recently. 🐮
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brief question about cougars, if you will. can cougars also be into young women, or are they into young men only?
11% only into young men
89% either gender works
730 votes • Final results
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10,342
as someone who hasn’t had a dick for 18 years (and it was complicated before then) i honestly can’t tell if blow jobs are truly that mind-blowing and i was a huge outlier, or if they simply make for interesting storytelling and so authors make them more exciting than they are.
26% blowjobs ARE actually 🤯
29% blowjobs are great
34% blowjobs are good
11% don’t have a dick or N/A
1,019 votes • Final results
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11,243
do you sleep better when you are in physical contact with another body? (not just in the same bed, but touching them in some way e.g. spooning)
45% yes
44% no
11% not applicable
745 votes • Final results
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9,445
if someone makes their living from writing erotica or developing erotic games, would you consider that “sex work”?
36% yes
64% no
767 votes • Final results
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8,830
do you prefer stories where romance is an element but not the driving force of the story, or do you prefer romances where the story exists to drive it forward?
74% stories with romance
16% romances with story
9% don't like romance, etc.
298 votes • Final results
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7,369
do you prefer your erotica to have enough weight to the plot that you can pretend that you’re not just there for the sex? or would you rather a little less?
23% lots of plot
56% some plot
10% little / no plot
12% don’t read erotica
641 votes • Final results
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7,924
would you prefer someone bring you to an extremely good orgasm, the kind that leaves you panting and sweating and moaning and melting. or would you rather have an equally good meal?
69% orgasm
31% meal
776 votes • Final results
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8,308
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