I write jokes that fall in a forest.
Joined May 2019
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26 Feb 2021
Unexpectedly, I got an error message from my color printer. It was totally out of the blue.
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I’m so tired of getting emails that say they’re not providing tax information. Especially from my accountant.
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I’ll race you to become the world’s second trillionaire.
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My dyslexic uncle just got back from a trip to Caicos and Turks.
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The first step to becoming a breadwinner is mastering a bun dance.
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When I was in high school, I’d steal money from my dad’s wallet and go drinking. That was my version of taking from the rich and giving to the pour.
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I highly recommend getting a free Spotify account. If you enjoy non-stop pleas to upgrade to Premium.
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I plan to go to meteorology school.
So I can get better at elevator banter.
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There’s no bigger font-size differential than a store’s “50% Off” and “Buy 1 Get 1”
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If I use your bathroom and leave the fan on,
I’m not being forgetful.
I’m being considerate.
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There’s only one downside to banning Cars for Kids commercials: more airtime for the ZipRecruiter jingle.
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I just found out my good friend pronounces “linear” as “laneer.”
I think the friendship is over.
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