@LukeTheRunner profile picture
LukeTheRunner @LukeTheRunner

I run a lot. Sometimes I make crosswords for the New York Times. Disregard my tweets—if you want to be entertained follow me on Strava.

Joined December 2007
  • Tweets 2,071
  • Following 159
  • Followers 123
81 Photos and videos
I’ll be honest, when they announced ABS at the beginning of the season I said “nice, it’ll only take a year or two til they go full robot umps” but now that I’ve seen the challenge system in place I think I want it forever
9
Hope everyone loves normal pictures of cats, where he’s not possessed and is just a normal cat who won’t cause retinal damage
1
17
I just want @kenmore to give me one million US dollars and they can have full use of this tweet
7
I’m not diagnosed but if I went through the last three years of the group chat and put all the “crying laughing” emojis in a spreadsheet and crunched the numbers to prove I’m the funniest does that mean I’m on the spectrum
16
LukeTheRunner retweeted
Steve Magness
@stevemagness
Mar 7
Many elite distance runners have horrible flexibility. They can't come close to touching their toes. Why? A stiff spring can be beneficial. Some research found the worse you do in the sit and reach test, the better your running economy.
50
36
769
111,060
Chris Fleming has the most specific niche audience possible (complimentary)
27
In the UK ass is donkey and arse is butt, but in the US ass is donkey or butt. So if you say a guy’s an ass and you’re talking to a Brit, you gotta specify whether the guy was acting stubborn like a donkey or acting stinky like a butt.
38
I was gonna google What does the sweeping do in curling But I don’t want the surveillance state to judge me
1
39
LukeTheRunner retweeted
Seattle Mariners
@Mariners
Jan 16
⚾ REPOST TO WIN ⚾️ It’s Muny’s birthday and we are celebrating by giving away a signed baseball! For a chance to win an autographed Andrés Muñoz baseball just hit that repost button.
72
2,044
1,283
64,921
LukeTheRunner retweeted
Seattle Mariners
@Mariners
29 Dec 2025
⚾️ REPOST TO WIN ⚾️ To celebrate Julio’s birthday, we are giving away a signed baseball! All you have to do is hit that repost button to enter!
116
5,192
2,787
169,747
Stephon Castle has to be the most annoying player in the League (complimentary)
1
48
fascism srsly wtf
1
8
Me when a rookie NFL kicker is terrible in his first game: Oh you poor thing, my sweet beautiful deceased child. You did your best 💕 Me when an NFL rookie at any other position is bad in his first game: I told you you piece of shit. fuck anyone who ever believed in you
1
25
Who is bold enough to make The Chimichurro
20
Waited til 10:45am to eat so that I could have mac & cheese bites for brunch like a classy person, rather than having mac & cheese bites for breakfast like a degenerate
17
Neoteny, oocyte, ecotype…@thegridkid and I are not on the same page today #spellingbee
1
2
49
The diameter of the bottom of a Rolo and the diameter of the top of an inverted Reese’s Miniature Cup being the same is enough to make me weep
31
bro don’t even act like you weren’t frolicsome last weekend. everyone’s saying you were gamboling mirthfully in the meadow. why would everyone say it if they didn’t see you cavort. I just can’t believe you’d make merry in the lea without me dude
29
LukeTheRunner retweeted
Traeshon Holden
@Traeski11
7 Feb 2025
Blame him for getting me help for making a mistake blame him for not giving up on a kid for making a mistake blame him for all the other kids life he changed and the kids life he gone change in the future you can blame him for allat🏌🏽‍♂️
Jeremy Kaetz 🌰@JeremyKaetz
7 Feb 2025
I guess blame Dan Lanning for him spitting on opponents?
158
148
2,790
294,907
What if footnotes could have footnotes that were the same ratio smaller, and sometimes even those footnotes might have footnotes, and if those footnotes had footnotes you’d need a magnifying glass to read them? What then?
30
Load more