President Obama on Iran: “We pulled it off without firing a missile. We got 97% of their enriched uranium out. There’s no dispute that it worked and we didn’t have to kill a whole bunch of people or shut down the Strait of Hormuz”

Kyle Kulinski on Jake Tapper: “When’s your book coming out on Trump, Jake? You could speak out sooner, but you’re not doing it. Why? Because you’re trying to keep your fucking job and you know you gotta coddle Trump’s balls on New CNN to please Bari Weiss and Donald Trump. Jesus fucking Christ I hate this guy”

Hasan Piker: “Most people who are anti-Israel, understand Israel’s committed a genocide, have never actually taken the next step to think about how 80 years of occupation have forced the hands of the occupied people to resist militarily against such cruelty, such brutality. When they do hear someone say that, it flips a switch where they go wait a minute that kind of does make sense, of course people are going to resist”

Tim Dillon: “Bari Weiss took over CBS News and is destroying it. Bari has found herself running the newsroom from a secured location because Bari has to be protected by her staff who might say things to her like what the hell are you doing and why are you destroying everything? You know you’re doing a good job when you are afraid of your staff. When you’re afraid to face the people who’s lives you are ruining”

Kyle Kulinski: “Elon Musk is a parasite, he’s a welfare queen, he’s stolen $38B from US taxpayers to do fraud and make a bunch of dumbass rockets explode instantly. This guy’s a ketamine addict, he’s a fucking Nazi, he’s a genuine low IQ dipshit and total con man. And now he’s worth $1T”

Tim Dillon on Iran: “Realistically, this was a huge humiliation. This was a big disaster in every way. The messaging, the actual strategy, everything was bad. From top to bottom, this whole thing was a nightmare. But if there’s one thing we have in America, it’s a rabid sense of delusion”

Don Lemon on Trump supporters: “You dumb fucks. You desecrate the flag by putting it on everything. The Donald Trump merch you sell at the stupid rallies. That is desecration of the flag. You buy all the stuff that Donald Trump uses to co-opt you and make money off of you. You pay his legal bills. It’s nonsensical”

Jennifer Welch: “Susan Collins is a liar. She has blood on her hands. I think she’s a full blown fascist. If I lived in Maine I would vote for Graham Platner because I know how diabolical and what pathological liars Republicans are”

Hasan Piker: “Elon Musk is a fucking failure and yet in spite of his failures, because he happened to be at the right place at the right time, he has failed upwards with his endless wealth. He’s a horrible person, an unbelievably insecure person, and yet he’s the richest person on the planet. We know he doesn’t fucking work hard because he Tweets all the goddamn time”

Don Lemon: “Bud Light is plastered all over that octagon on the White House lawn celebrating the birthday of a man liable for essentially raping a woman. Organized by a man who was caught on camera hitting his wife. Featuring pardoned January 6th insurrectionists in the crowd”

Jennifer Welch: “Susan Collins votes for the rights of rapists over the rights of rape victims. Stop with the purity tests and all this bullshit. It’s nauseating, nobody likes it. We need to be completely locked in, dark woke, in the gutter, fuck these people”

Joe Rogan: “Sometimes you just get fed up like where the fuck are these Epstein Files? Why is this redacted? Who the fuck killed JFK? Who fucking killed Charlie Kirk for real? Why is that fucking story so clouded in mystery and why did they pave over the fucking ground right after the shooting? What the fuck is going on there?”

Kyle Kulinski: “Left wing politics actually have masculine values. The traditional idea of the man being the provider. Whereas right wing values are what? Pedophilia? Rape? Sucking off Israel? Selfishness, greed, manipulation, lies, endless war, cutting taxes for the billionaires”

Joe Rogan: “We’re all pissed. We all thought all that stuff was gonna be released right after the election. We’re gonna drain the swamp and find all the pedophiles. It would have been a whole lot different if we didn’t bomb Iran. Even the first time I was like what the fuck are we doing? And the second time I was like oh fucking great. Most people don’t want it. I do know all the people I know that support Israel above everything else, they’re fucking super happy about it”

Hunter Biden on Graham Platner: “I have not heard anything in any way that would say to me that he’s an abusive, misogynistic, antisemitic or racist person. I have heard this from Graham Platner: he thinks we should have free healthcare, we have to radically change our politics, working people are getting fucking screwed, they have us at each other’s throats and we should be at their throats, the oligarchs and our tech overlords and billionaires are really making the playing field unfair for working class people”

Hasan Piker: “If we did not have something that threatens the halls of power, they would not be coming after people like myself. In the words of Donald Trump, they’re not coming after me, they’re coming after you. I’m just standing in the way”

Raphael Warnock: “Donald Trump is many things. A man of faith he certainly is not. I think he mocks God. I think Donald Trump in the secret moments laughs at religious people. He’s deeply cynical. He doesn’t believe in anything other than himself”

Jennifer Welch on Susan Collins: “You are a pedophile enabler, you are pro-billionaire, you are anti-American, you are pro-war, you are anti-economy, you are a pathological liar that has blood on your hands. You support child sex abuse and sexual abuse with your vote of Brett Kavanaugh. We need to support the democratic voices in Maine and their candidate and get this c-u-n-t out of the Senate”