Alaska Grown, Political Activist, Jedi Knight. All views expressed are my own.
Joined August 2017
- Tweets 189
- Following 35
- Followers 70
- Likes 106
110 Photos and videos
23 Feb 2023
My greatest fear is that one day my final moments will be the subject of a special episode of some dorks podcast.
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6 Jan 2023
"Mr. Simon, when am I going to use this math in the real world?"
"Good question, what would you like to do after high school?"
"Study marine biology."
"Cool, I studied political science and now I'm your math teacher, maybe hedge your bets and pay attention."
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6 Dec 2022
I'm first struck by the realization of how remote my home state is. Getting across country, you pass by things, fly over towns, settlements, signs of life. Not on the way to Alaska, the first man made thing we saw was the fence around the airport.
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6 Dec 2022
I'm back on Alaska for the first time since April of 2018. I'm showing my partner around for the first time. I want to log this, but I don't want to clog my Facebook feed with vacation photos, so I'm going to be posting updates here, since no one reads my Twitter.
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9 Apr 2022
My goal tonight is to get banned from this bar for playing 30 minute prog rock songs on touchtunez.
I've purchased an irresponsible number of credits and am digging in for the long haul.
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4 Apr 2022
A student asked me for help on a government assignment where he needs to describe the "historic significance and ramifications" of something I remember protesting against.
Am...am I old?
8 Mar 2022
In class today I mentioned watching Spider-Man 2 in theaters when it first came out and my student asked if I meant Far From Home and now I'm going to fade into dust like I got Thanos snapped.
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Mark Lee Simon retweeted
5 Mar 2022
Remember how dumb it was when they pushed to rename French Fries to Freedom Fries because France opposed the Iraq war? That was fucking stupid, huh?
Anyway, did you hear that restaurants are renaming the Moscow mule and Russian Salad Dressing?
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Mark Lee Simon retweeted
24 Feb 2022
Getting ready to head into work as chaos grips another corner of this rapidly dying planet.
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Mark Lee Simon retweeted
13 Feb 2022
So many people have been pushed towards crime to get by. You'd think our leaders had some kind of massive economic incentive to drive people toward getting arrested and leased out for free labor.
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Mark Lee Simon retweeted
26 Jan 2022
Several people took exception to my comments on crypto and informed me that crypto is the inevitable future, so let me be clear. If I'm ever forced to interact with cryptocurrency, if I ever have to maintain a crypto wallet as a normal part of my life, I'm becoming a terrorist.
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18 Jan 2022
Update: @AmericanAir not only looked up my stuff and said they didn't charge me, even though you can see they've got most of my money locked up in holds, they also just made me pay $30 to check the bag that I carried onto Alaska Airlines for free.
18 Jan 2022
Well, @AmericanAir just put a bunch of holds on my bank account while I was trying to select my seats, and now I have no money the day before I travel, and also, I now can't reserve my seat. Hope my partner isn't sitting on the other side of the plane tomorrow.
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Mark Lee Simon retweeted
12 Jul 2021
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15 Mar 2021
I could be dating someone who would talk me out of getting McDonald's at 3 am, but instead, I have a partner who will help talk me into it, plus I have McDonald's, so it's a win/win. ♥️♥️♥️
2 Mar 2021
Whenever you hear me say I wanna "get drunk in the club", this is exactly what I mean.
28 Feb 2021
I mixed my drink too strong and now I'm drunk at book club 🙃
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Mark Lee Simon retweeted
28 Jan 2021
Of course the Federal Government is going to step in to keep Reddit from crashing the stock market, otherwise, those 400,000 Americans who died in the pandemic will have died for nothing.
These are sarcastic thoughts.
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20 Jan 2021
It's 3am and I'm yelling "Canada!" At the TV because a contestant in Jeopardy doesn't know the second country with only A's for vowels that touches the Atlantic and Pacific.
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19 Jan 2021
Me "wait, the ghosts can bang, right?"
Them "oh. They can."
Me "..."
Me "you say that like it's canon."
Them "Book seven gets crazy."
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