those pool jets feel so good lol
Joined April 2010
- Tweets 11,787
- Following 1,081
- Followers 3,204
- Likes 15,331
3,979 Photos and videos
Jun 12
“Regular yellow mustard is the best dipping sauce for chicken tenders.”
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Jun 12
DETECTIVE STABLER: when’s the last time you busted, hot shot?
ME: i don’t remember. maybe even never.
STABLER: (smashing my head into the metal table)
ME: okay, okay, it was just now. when you did that.
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Jun 11
(the rizzler after eating a share size bag of sour patch kids) i got da itis
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Jun 10
(pulling an oreo out of my fleshlight) yeah i usually eat the whole sleeve
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got blackout drunk at this game and called the flint water crisis governor a bitch to his face
Manchester United's highest-ever attendance in history was 109,318 for a pre-season friendly against Real Madrid at Michigan Stadium in Ann Arbor, Michigan, on August 2, 2014. A college stadium in the US
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my hero and the best dude from my alma mater 🫡
Jun 3
HBD Earl Boykins!
5'5" and played 13 seasons in the NBA
Some of his games:
36 PTS, 9 AST (63% FG)
36 PTS (65% FG)
33 PTS, 8 AST, 1 TO
32 PTS (73% FG)
29 PTS, 7 REB, 6 AST in 29 MINS
28 PTS, 7 AST (73% FG)
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weird that charlie kirk fans still insist we “carry the flame” when their hero is literally engulfed in them for all of eternity
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May 27
my favorite audiobook is the bible because you don’t need a device or headphones. it’s just wired into your brain all day, every day. you just constantly hear it, sometimes in languages you didn’t know you could understand.
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May 27
got a plumber at the house and he just got back from vacation. “i been to a lot of caverns in my life, but man…carsbad is the biggest and best.”
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May 24
it would be so funny if like stephen paddock created a twitter account just to follow one random person right before he did what he did. they’d be like “what the fuck did i do to deserve this!?!
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May 24
i do “enhanced games” every day and you never hear me bragging about it (playing forza after ten beers)
May 22
JUST IN: The Enhanced Games are set to debut this weekend in Las Vegas, with athletes allowed to use steroids, testosterone, HGH, & other banned substances.
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