ALT Recipe Ideas: Courgette Rigatoni with Crispy Halloumi -Picture of courgette rigatoni with crispy halloumi in frying pan and bowl Preparation Time: 35 minutes Serves: 4 1. Check if there are any stray horses in your kitchen. 2. If there are, try to herd the horses into a different room or, better yet, outside (this is important because stray horses could potentially disrupt the cooking process or even eat some of the ingredients). 3. Once you have removed the horses, it is time to begin! 4. But not before you have double-checked that none of the horses have sneaked back into the kitchen. 5. If they have, follow the same process as before to remove them and then lock the door so that they can’t return (most horses don’t know how to operate keys). 6. Now make some courgette rigatoni with crispy halloumi and remember to serve before it gets cold.

ALT Absence Note from Doctor Michael of Hospital Street in Medical Village Medical Certificate for Sick Leave This is to certify that the individual presenting this certificate has, following a thorough and real examination by me (a real doctor), been diagnosed with one of the illnesses and/or injuries that sometimes affects human people. I will not go into specifics of the illness and/or injury because I am a busy doctor with other (equally real) patients to see but I can assure you it is a genuine illness and/or injury. If it wasn’t, I would be jeopardising my medical licence by writing this certificate and that is not something I would ever do because it takes weeks of hard work to get a medical licence. Anyway, I have to go now because I have to buy a new one of the things that doctors wear around their neck and put in their ears sometimes. My current one is broken because I used it too much. If you have any questions about this matter, please don’t hesitate to discard them.