Psychologische Reife besteht nicht in der Einteilung der Welt in Gut und Böse, sondern darin, die Kapazität zu entwickeln, den Spannungsbogen zweier scheinbar entgegengesetzter Positionen halten zu können.
My personal truths as a clinical psychologist:
#297 Polarized thinking reduces anxiety at the cost of nuance.
*Life is complicated. Most people don’t enjoy uncertainty. We want clear answers, clear villains, and clear heroes.
That’s one reason polarized thinking is so attractive.
If your ex was entirely terrible, you don’t have to wrestle with what was good. If your boss is completely incompetent, you don’t have to consider the pressures they’re under. If your political party is always right and the other side is always wrong, you never have to tolerate the discomfort of mixed truths.
But reality is usually messier than that.
Most relationships contain both love and disappointment. Most people have strengths and flaws. Most social problems have more than one cause. Even political leaders we admire make mistakes, and those we oppose occasionally get something right.
Polarized thinking feels good because it reduces uncertainty. It gives us a sense of certainty and control.
The problem is that certainty often comes at the cost of understanding.
Psychological maturity is not seeing everything as good or bad. It’s developing the capacity to hold two truths at the same time.
That’s harder.
But it’s usually closer to reality.