"God, every day I read another brain dead Twitter take and want to hurl myself into a ravine."
"There's a solution for that."
"Stop reading Twitter?"
"I was leaning towards the scenic option."
"Yeah, well you can save that for these freaks. Some freon-huffing oxygen-thief declared that power-scaling is a fundamental mechanic of good writing and the whole site's been a dumpster fire all day."
"Sooo, like any day on Twitter."
"Pretty much."
"Well I don't know much about writing but it's great for the cedar fence in my backyard."
"What?"
"I do have to descale the heating coils from time to time though."
"Not power-washing, you nitwit."
"Eh?'
"Power-scaling!"
"Oh. What's power-scaling?"
[sighs] "You remember in the first Matrix when they establish that no human can beat an agent and the only viable strategy to survive is to just run away?"
"I remember Carrie Anne Moss' ass in skintight black latex before her face got all weird in the sequels."
"Actually, that was PVC."
"Really?"
"Yep. That's how they got that slick, wet look."
"Such a shame. Another victim of pointless plastic surgery."
"Anyway, the big finale of the first film is that Neo becomes the One and one-shots Agent Smith."
"I remember."
"And then the other agents flee because they don't stand a chance."
"I also run away when I see a man enter another man—"
"Really."
"—and instantly bust."
"Are you done?"
"No, because unlike some people, I believe the recipient is owed a little longevity."
"Okay, well, that's power-scaling."
"I see."
"The matrix stuff, not the, uh, strained homosexual metaphor."
"Seems simple enough. Strong guy beats weak guy. What's complicated about it?"
"Well so, when you have two characters it's straightforward, but once you start throwing in more people and more powers and so on, that's when a story runs the risk of bad, sloppy power-scaling."
"Such as?"
"In the Matrix sequels, the agents immediately get upgrades so they can go blow-for-blow with Neo, but somehow Morpheus, who is still just a regular old human, can hold his own in a 1-vs-1 fight on top of a moving semi, even though he should by all rights get instantly clobbered."
"Huh."
"It just breaks the immersion a little."
"Now that you mention it, that always did bother me. Not as much as Carrie Anne's face, but—"
"Would you get off her face!"
"It's not bad! I'm just saying she could've used some bone mashing."
"Christ."
"Just a little looksmaxxer hammertime. Five minutes a day tops."
"The point is that power-scaling makes perfect sense in combat heavy settings like sci-fi and fantasy, and it makes zero sense in like a rambling two-person stoner comedy—"
"Who watches that shit?"
"—or a grounded historical drama set in, I don't know, the pioneer west."
"Eh, I always liked that one Little House on the Prairie book where Pa unlocks his true bankai."
"What?"
"My older brother read them to me."
"Ah."
"My favorite part was when the Ingalls family traveled deep into Wisconsin and accidentally crossed into the Eternal Shadow Realm of Endless Umbral Night."
"Anyway, power-scaling is just juvenile nonsense that doesn't exist in real life or any shit that actually matters—"
"Well..."
"Like politics."
"You sure about that?"
"How could power-scaling possibly apply to politics?"
"Hm. If Congress repeals the third term limit, who wins the 2028 election: Trump or Obama."
"With the way things are going right now? Obama probably—"
"See? Power-scaling."
"—but that's because Trump will be 82 years old and totally Biden-blasted by then."
"Alright, let's roll it back: Peak 2008 Hopewave Obama vs Darkhorse 2016 Wallbuilder Trump."
"Damn, son. Really?"
"Not so easy now, is it?"
"I mean that's hard. You know that's hard."
"I'm hard just thinking about it."
"They both got the country behind them. The unwavering will of the American."
"One nation aroused to irrestible action.'
"In Dragonball terms, that's like two spirit bombs right there."
"Double Genkidama."
"Buuut I might have to hand it to Trump."
"Think so?"
"Yeah. I wanna say Obama, but that Darkhorse buff is like the kaioken. It kicks in strong when you count him out."
"And Trump's got plot armor."
"True."
"God's main character."
"I got one."
"Hm?"
"Two-Term Drone Emporer Obama vs. Strait of Hormez Trump 47."
"Pft. That's a joke right?"
"What? They're both in their second terms, they're both in war mode—"
"Okay, but Drone Emperor Obama can extrajudicially assassinate U.S. Citizens and Trump can't even keep a fishing lane open."
"Well, the strait is a little more than a fishing lane—"
"You gotta go Benghazi Obama to make it fair."
"Alright, alright, uh, Bloodlusted Mugshot Trump vs Post-Prez Netflix Obama."
"I mean if we're going on post-office aura, it's Trump, right?"
"True, but Obama's got that ominous sick ass citadel in Chicago."
"It is an ominous sick ass citadel. Here's one: Blocked-Nomination Obama vs Court-Cucked Trump."
"Blocked-Nomination Obama."
"Just like that."
"They're both huge losers, but while Court-Cucked Trump gets clowned by random judges, Obama loses to Infinite Filibuster Works Mitch McConnell."
"The Man in Tan versus the Immovable Turtle."
"It's just a more respectable loss."
"And turtling is a powerful strategy. I learned that Guile from Street Fighter 6."
"Okay, last one: McDonald's Wave Trump vs OG Twitter Fingers Trump."
"Man."
"Good one, right?"
"That's like the hardest yet."
"It just sparks joy. You can't say it doesn't spark joy."
"I'm gonna go Twitter Fingers."
"No love for the wave?"
"The wave is great, but the coke tweets alone, bro."
"Yeah."
"He just keeps drinking that garbage."
"Inspiring."
"God. It was a simpler time."
"It was. Like when Ma and Mary Ingalls turned Super Saiyan and escaped the Shadow Realm."
---
[m][title: Power Scaling, Politics, and the Prairie]
"power scaling" is such an inherently juvenile idea it's depressing to see grown adults talk about it