All men like to think they are marrying nymphomaniacs. The problem is, after a few years, the nympho leaves and the maniac stays.

ONE FUCKTEENTH Of all the things that will impact you over your lifetime, you’re in control of one fuckteenth. So navigate the inevitable shit show with courage, control your controllables, keep an eye out for cunts, and don’t waste energy on shit you can’t change.

This is the LGBTQ community I support.

Happy Birthday President Trump! 🇺🇸

I had so many personal struggles with my dad, and I only forgave him after he passed away. Do me a favor and forgive your dad. He was someone’s son before he was your father. He carried wounds before responsibilities, fears before authority, and battles he never learned how to name. None of this excuses what he did. But it explains what shaped him. Some men become fathers while still needing to be healed themselves. Forgive him—not because the pain was small, but because you deserve to stop carrying a war that started before you were born.

When I was a child, I didn’t care what I wore. I just went along with whatever my parents chose! Now, when I look at old photos, I realize they didn’t care either.

Garth Brooks can pound sand.

Anyone else turn into a professional pacer the moment they pick up a phone call? I’ll be walking laps around the house with zero explanation.

Why come to America seeking a better life, then insist it become like the country you left? This is my home — where I built my life and found opportunities I never dreamed of. I’m damn proud to be an American.

Imagine a stranger knocks on your door just to tell you how much you suck. You’d think they’re deranged. Maybe even dangerous. That’s exactly how you sound when you stop scrolling on 𝕏, open a reply, and decide to spread hate.

There’s something beautiful about growing older and realizing the sweetest days aren’t the flashy ones. They’re the simple ones — morning coffee, a quiet pause, and the deep comfort of knowing your people are okay. And honestly, that’s everything.

Big shoutout and congratulations to Mrs. Vaughn. 😏🔥

Prayers for the family, friends, and his brothers and sisters of the RCFR. Rest easy, brother. 🙏🏻

Friday night deposit: App shows ✅ Money shows up Monday like it took the scenic route through 1975. Real-time payments? Cute idea. We’ll get there right after flying cars and affordable housing.

Just admit it……

Bet I won’t have to wait long to see who gets offended by this.

This is what we’ve all been waiting for.

Modern definitions of words: NAZI - Someone who disagrees with a liberal. RACIST - Someone who disagrees with a liberal. FASCIST - Someone who disagrees with a liberal. MISOGYNIST - Someone who disagrees with a liberal. HOMOPHOBE - Someone who disagrees with a liberal. TRANSPHOBE - Someone who disagrees with a liberal. BIGOT - Someone who disagrees with a liberal.

A Chinese guy goes into a Jewish-owned store to buy black bras, size 38DD. The Jewish storekeeper, known for his business skills, says black bras are rare and hard to get from suppliers, so he charges $75 each. The Chinese guy buys 25 pairs. A few days later, he returns and orders fifty. The owner says they are even harder to get and charges $85 each. A month later, the Chinese guy buys the store’s remaining stock of 50 for $100 each. Puzzled by the large demand, the Jewish owner asks the Chinese guy, “What do you do with all these black bras?” The Chinese guy answers: “I cut them in half and sell them as skull caps to you Jews for $250 each.”