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MinistryofEducation @MinistryofEd

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Joined July 2014
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Coca-Cola can be used as an effective detergent for the inside of your body. This is what people mean by 'going on a cleanse’.
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Keep your heart healthy by falling in love every eighteen months. When a relationship becomes stale, it contributes to heart disease.
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Spend a day at the spa. Spend a day at the swimming pool. Spend a day at the butchers. Support your local businesses.
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A toffee apple a day keeps toffee makers in pay, as well as apple growers, and the people that make the stick things.
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If someone tells you Love is in the Air, be warned they may have just released a spermal mist.
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If you are attending an abortion, it is polite to bring a bottle of wine.
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Policemen on horses outrank policemen on foot. Policemen on bicycles are of the lowest order, only slightly higher in rank than postmen.
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If your children fight, do not interfere. The victors of these matches are the future leaders of the world.
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We’re taller than our ancestors because gravity is lighter now. In 200 years time we’ll be as tall as houses & take 15 minutes to lie down.
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Before the invention of chairs, humans would only lie or stand, much like horses.
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If you were able to touch the sun it would give you a very nasty burn.
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If you have a rash, don’t show it to anyone who isn’t a qualified doctor. You might ruin their day.
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Electronic tablets were designed to make people who kept touching their screens look normal.
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The wheels on the bus go round and round, even when the bus is stationary, the wheels continue to rotate in an eery fashion.
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Bicycles are made from the bones of dead horses. This is why you will never see a horse on a bike.
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A female Lion is called a Lady Lion.
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The Moon is much closer than you think. How close did you think it was? Incorrect. It’s much closer than that.
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Don’t do drugs. A 14-year-old girl died when she did drugs. She was murdered by her family for doing drugs.
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The German word for ‘Helmet’ literally translates as ‘HEAD PRISON’
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Anticipating sex makes your hair grow faster. This is why pessimistic men go bald.
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