Congregant: Rabbi, I have a strong desire to live forever. What should I do? Rabbi: Join Twitter. Congregant: And will I live forever? Rabbi: No, but the desire will disappear.

Classic joke: An antisemitic millionaire goes to eat in a fancy restaurant. A Jewish man with a kippah sits down next to him. When the millionaire sees him, he says to the waiter, "On me, serve the most expensive meal to everyone in the restaurant except the Jew." The waiter does so, and everyone, even the Jew, gets up to thank the antisemite. The millionaire then asks the waiter which dessert is the most expensive, and asks that be served to everyone but the Jewish man. With that done, everyone thanks him again, including the Jew. The antisemite, bursting with rage, asks the waiter to serve the most expensive wine to everyone but the Jew. Again everyone thanks him, including the Jew. Finally, the antisemite explodes and asks, “Why do you keep thanking me if you are the only one who received nothing?!” The Jewish man replies, "I am the owner of this restaurant. Thank you very much!”

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REPORT: Starting next year, Spurs locker room will separate fish dishes from meat in order to prevent choking

My mayor supports terror Some Jews voted for him in error They fell for his lies and jive KNICKS IN FIVE 🏆

Seinfeld was right

Indigenous recognize indigenous 🤝

Can someone please tell me what “prati” means in Hebrew? Every time I ask, I’m told “It’s private.”

He’s not wrong

|￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣￣| | End the Hezbollah occupation!!! | |____＿＿__＿＿＿＿＿＿＿_______| \ (•◡•) / \ / —— | | |_ |_

Graham Platner would make the perfect Hamas candidate

Pray for the IDF 🇮🇱

Fun Fact: At the British Peel Commission in 1937 (looking into Arab riots from the year before), local Arab leader Audi Bey Abdul-Hadi testified that “[t]here is no such country [as Palestine]! Palestine is a term the Zionists invented!”

I'd like to thank whoever told my rabbi that WTF means "Wow that's fantastic." His texts are so much more fun now.

Classic joke: Two kids are in a hospital lying on a stretcher next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?" The second kid says, "I'm getting my tonsils out. I'm a little nervous." The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep and when you wake up, they give you lots of jello and ice cream. It's a breeze." The second kid then asks, "What are you in here for?" The first kid says, "A circumcision." The second kid replies, "Whoa, good luck buddy. I had that done when I was born and I couldn't walk for a year."

Funny that Mamdani only cites Tehillim (Psalms) when it suits his agenda 🤔 Hey Zo, take a look at Psalm 137, describing how the indigenous Jews felt when Jerusalem fell to the Babylonians in the 6th century BCE: ‘By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion… If I forget you, Jerusalem, may my right hand forget its skill. May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth if I do not remember you, if I do not consider Jerusalem my highest joy.”