Y'know those black box recorders that survive a plane crash. Why don't they build the whole plane out of the black box?? Member of @chimpcopcomedy
Joined April 2011
- Tweets 5,182
- Following 1,264
- Followers 2,329
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410 Photos and videos
Pinned Tweet
2 Oct 2020
You know those black box recorders they have on flights? Seen this? Y'know, they say they're so strong it's the only thing that survives a plane crash. What I wanna know is, if it's so strong why don't they just build the whole plane out of the black box?
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Timothy Clark retweeted
9 Jul 2023
Nice to meet you death, I am become dad
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That's right, Jeff! CombsFest kicks off TONIGHT! Join us for many fun fillums :)
Tix for this evening and the rest of the weekend here: eventfinda.com.au/2024/jeffr…
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11 Apr 2024
This is so sweet of Dibbo. Yep, two more weekends of Legal Thriller so come on down folks! eventbrite.com.au/e/legal-th…
Use the code "COURTROOM" for cheaper tickets. It's the best goddamn show I've ever seen in my entire life (biased)
comedian's shows I have loved in MICF that are still running:
- Greg Larsen
- @MrTimothyClark
- Burton Brothers (run is over but they have added shows!)
- Sonia Di Iorio
- @tomwalkerisgood
- @lauradaviscomic
- @AngusGordon9
comedyfestival.com.au/2024
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7 Apr 2024
fuck!
1 Oct 2023
yay!
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22 Mar 2024
I haven't twote in a while (past tense of tweet) but I'm doing a show in this year's comedy festival! Tix:eventbrite.com.au/e/90s-lega…
I talk about movies and the JFK assassination (which I did). Please come so I don't have to make ironic joke lists appealing to other comedians xoxo
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16 Feb 2024
🚨ALERT🚨Taylor Swift SPOTTED at A1 Bakery right NOW!! The staff are BEGGING her not to order EVERY shanklish pie but the INTERNATIONAL SENSATION is simply TOO POWERFUL and FUELED BY FETA!!! This is NOT A DRILL!!
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9 Jan 2024
I just flew in from that gender inclusivity conference and and boy/girl are my arms tired!
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7 Jan 2024
[Popeye the Improv Man] "ok folks, need a suggestion from the audience for what I yam"
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4 Jan 2024
[Blade walks into the beer garden outside the blood rave in Blade] "Oop, here 'e is. Day walker. One who walks amongt us. All of our strengths, none of our weaknesses. Let you back in did they mate, haha! Nah go on, it has been a while. How's your mum doing?"
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31 Dec 2023
[mums posting about 2024]
IN
one ear
OUT
the other
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Timothy Clark retweeted
27 Dec 2023
“If we try to play like Mordor in here, we will lose to Mordor out there”
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18 Dec 2023
Shit, I had $10 on super mario bros sweeping the Steakies
17 Dec 2023
For the Philips Steaks Cheesesteak Award, meant to recognize a blockbuster that's hard to ignore, the winner is MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE- DEAD RECKONING PART ONE. The runner-up is GODZILLA MINUS ONE.
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Timothy Clark retweeted
23 Jul 2023
(gossipy drill sergeant)...I don't know 🙄🙄...but I've been told...😉
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6 Dec 2023
1 Dec 2023
it's the last month of the year, quote with your favorite pictures of yourself this year.
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6 Dec 2023
[Clint Eastwood voice] "Go ahead...take my wife...please!"
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30 Nov 2023
"He was a celebrated figure in mid-twentieth century american politics, how bout that...known for his foreign policy wo---hold the fort!"
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29 Nov 2023
Ok I'm going back to the wall with 99 beers on it, does anyone *else* want one passed down? Cause I don't want to make another trip
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