I’m not saying Keir Starmer got picked last for every team… I’m just saying his governing philosophy has strong “now it’s my turn to make the rules” energy. And I’m pretty sure he got his butt kicked by every student. And twice by the girls.

Ah yes, someone confused a concert with a senior center grievance meeting. Double, double, toil and trouble, Stir the cauldron, watch it bubble. Jane brings speeches, Bette brings song, Both explaining how we’re wrong. Toss in outrage, stir with pride, Add a standing ovation on the side. Double, double, toil and trouble, Celebrity wisdom at full bubble.

Luke is upset because UFC was not cool or manly. Poor thing was hoping for a night of ping pong, children and pizzas. (Possibly some Chicago hotdogs too) Luke, is that you in the ping pong picture? x.com/EndWokeness/status/206…

Women of the world: Go higher. Not Michelle Obama “when they go low, we go high.” Actually go higher. As in, stop lecturing everyone about how enlightened you are while looking down your nose at them. If your message starts with, “Look how evolved I am and how awful you people are,” you’ve already missed the point. Ma’am. Maybe take a break from the sermon circuit and spend some time in that monstrosity of a building you call a library — reading or contemplating. M’am. Lay off that Chicago crack. M’kay. Go out I the world and quietly do so volunteer work. Key word: QUIETLY. Like a First Lady and not some linebacker shoving her views down people’s throats. Take a more feminine approach. Ask a friend if you need tutoring.

Jane Fonda and her Band of Little Has-Beens. They couldn’t find one performer who could draw a small crowd? It’s like Night of the Living Dead: The Singalong on PBS. Michelle says, “We rise higher.” No. You whine higher.

What in the holy hell happened to my algorithm? Yesterday it was World Cup visitors having the time of their lives, Americans helping random tourists, and general international shenanigans. Today it’s crying about Elon, politicians being wankers and freaking Neil deGrasse Tyson. There are Scottish men in this country RIGHT NOW and my algorithm is somehow kilt-free. Can somebody please fix it?

I feel robbed that American men don’t wear kilts.

I have opinions on UK politics. I don’t have a vote. Yet somehow I have “Keir Starmer is a wanker” stuck in my head. I live in Texas. Thanks, England fans. 😂🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 P.S. Keir Starmer is a wanker. #worldcup2026 #tartanarmy (I know they are Scotland - still a wanker)

I have absolutely no idea what’s going on in the world. But I can tell you what Shaun, Elsa, Freddy, and the entire Tartan Army ate today. And honestly, that’s been much better. Thank you, World Cup visitors.

Oooh. I want to adopt some tourists for the Fourth of July. I claim the Scots. Kilts required.

Well, well, well. How’s it going today for America’s favorite tech dinosaur? The story changes as often as the cosplay costumes. Software mogul. “I didn’t know his past.” Doctor. “It was only three meetings.” Farmer. “Melinda warned me.” Climate expert. “It was a grave error in judgment.” Water baron. “He found out information about my personal life.” Dude. We know. I’m losing track. At this point, I need the patch notes.

I practice law in Collin County, Texas. Karmelo Anthony will be convicted and sentenced to life in prison. As he should. He murdered that boy because he was raised to hate white people and to view himself as a victim in every situation. It’s a culture thing.

What are they protesting? That someone was charged after a fatal stabbing? I’m genuinely trying to understand the objective here. What outcome are they seeking?

AI is basically Roblox for adults. “Congrats, you made a spreadsheet, a logo, and one mildly cursed image. Anyway, you’re out of credits. Would you like to buy 500 more tokens to continue existing?” Digital consumerism with sci-fi lighting. Rude. Absolutely not. I do not need the wings and lace-up shoes.

I’ve determined I don’t like chess because: the rules are too constrained the board is closed everything is predetermined it feels like strategic claustrophobia I don’t like video games because: the reality is fake the stakes are artificial the accomplishments feel simulated I can’t emotionally invest in digital mushrooms or side quests Therefore, don’t assume I enjoy the real games either. I would like to officially opt out of the Hunger Games. Thank you.